The dating scene is a nightmare.
63% of men under 30 describe themselves as single. (source)
65% of single women reported not actively seeking a romantic relationship or casual dates.
Among women aged 40 and above, 71% expressed no interest in dating or romantic relationships.
As a coach, I talk with people with various relationship situations and issues: married, divorced, happily single, and sadly single. Lots of people are burned out with using dating apps. I’m sure you’ve seen some of the nightmare chats that so many women experience. And, apparently, a significant percentage of people—especially women—are giving up on dating altogether.
The advice in this episode applies to anyone, really. But, I guess I was thinking more about men, as I have heard the stories of horrible dates from women I know. Check out Ask Aubry on Bluesky if you want to see some of the stories. It’s no wonder so many men are having trouble dating and finding long-term partners, and it seems that they usually have themselves to blame.
I coach some men who are struggling with the loneliness epidemic. They are sad, bitter, or angry, wondering why no one seems interested in them. Well, it’s usually because they haven’t invested in becoming more interesting people!
I hear about this problem from women, too. Modern dating is a nightmare for them (as I mentioned above).
Men who expect something in return for buying dinner or gifts
Selfish men who just want to hook up
Men who treat women like objects
Men who don’t want to do anything other than game or watch sports
Men who can’t be honest about dating multiple partners at once
Men who refuse to commit (e.g., Peter Pan syndrome)
Men who need therapy, but refuse to get it
Men who struggle with work-life balance
Hey, I’m not saying I’m perfect, amazing, or the most interesting man in the world. Only this guy can claim that.
But, I did date quite a bit before I met my wife (we’ve been married for over 34 years now), who is way out of my league, by the way. I heard from previous girlfriends and from her why they went out with me and wanted to date me. It came down to a few things:
I genuinely enjoy the company of women and have many friends who are women.
They noticed that I was caring with animals and children.
I’m a good listener and try to help people solve their problems.
I’ve always been interested in improving myself and trying to become a better person.
I’m ambitious and always have new personal and professional goals.
I love to read and learn new things, which gives me a lot to discuss.
It’s not some magical formula, but you do need to be intentional if this doesn't come naturally to you. Work on yourself, improve yourself, be a decent human being, and someone will definitely find you interesting!
Invest in yourself
Here are some ways to invest in yourself and evolve. I go into more detail in the audio of this podcast episode, so scroll up, hit play, and listen.
Read some books, then read some more
Keep up with current news from unbiased and reliable sources (not FOX news or your buddies at the bar)
Travel the world and broaden your mind
Open your mind to other people’s lives, worries, and needs (i.e., don’t be self-centered)
Realize that good people are good people, even if—especially if—they differ from you
Explore the arts and visit your local museums, galleries, and theaters
Create more than you consume. Try writing, creating art, making music, and giving back in ways that reveal your soul
Spend more time in nature, while respecting nature (don’t get me started on this topic)
Invest in your health and wellness (physical, mental, and emotional)
Stop hating people because they look different, love differently, worship differently, and live differently
Or, refuse to invest in yourself and keep behaving in terrible ways, and wonder why no decent person wants to spend time with you, fall in love with you, or spend their life with you.
Take a hard look in the mirror, accept personal responsibility, grow up, and evolve into a better version of you. If you’d like to talk more about this, book a free call with me.
I’m Larry Cornett, a Freedom Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become invincible, and create new opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate!
📕 Check out my new The Invincible Daily Journals!
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