“I’ll be happy when I go on vacation.”
“Things will get better next week, month, or year.”
“I can finally enjoy myself when I have more money.”
“I’ll get to live the life I have always wanted when I retire.”
These are the endless promises of tomorrow. But you don’t live in “tomorrow.”
The past is gone, and tomorrow doesn’t exist yet. You have only today. You have only this moment. You can only experience the now.
Stop sacrificing the reality of now for the illusion of tomorrow.
You never realize it’s the last time
The last time you’ll engage in a childhood activity.
The last time you’ll play ball with your dad.
The last time you’ll make cookies with your mom.
The last time you’ll play with your kids at the park.
The last time you will read them a bedtime story.
The last time you will pick them up in your arms.
The last time you will see a loved one.
Losing my mother-in-law
My wife lost her mother 26 years ago today. We were visiting for Christmas with our toddler daughter and baby boy. One tragic car accident changed everything forever.
She was such an amazing woman. She was thrilled to be a grandmother, and I’m glad she had the chance to experience it.
But we did not know that would be the last time we would see her.
You never get over the loss of a loved one. The pain becomes deeper, and you learn to live with it as the years go by. But you never fully recover, and of course, you never forget.
Luckily, my wife and her mother were really good about staying in touch. They talked almost every day. We visited as much as we could, and they came to see us, too.
The internet was still pretty new, and smartphones didn’t exist. So, I remember being much more present when we were all together.
How times have changed
Now, things are so different. We all carry a tiny computer around all day long. Social media buzzes and flashes, demanding our attention.
All the likes, comments, messages, and arguments. All day long. All night, too.
No one seems to be fully present anymore. When we go out into the world, everyone is staring at their little screens.
Driving with their tiny screen in one hand.
Walking through the store while staring at their phones.
Even while eating lunch or dinner with other people.
I don’t like what it has done to us. Hell, I don’t like what it has done to me! As a solopreneur, I have to fight the urge to be on my phone constantly.
Checking messages.
Engaging with my communities.
Taking photos and videos to share online.
Marketing, posting, and commenting to make the algorithm gods happy.
I hate it. I’m Gen X, so I remember a time before it was like this.
I recently launched a Gen X community with a friend. We asked everyone to share their favorite memories of the past.
One common theme? People miss not always being connected and on. When we left home to do something with friends, the phone stayed there. No one could reach us. So, we were 100% present with our friends, doing whatever activities we wanted.
Speaking of being in the moment…
We need more of this single-tasking in our lives. Our modern multitasking is out of control.
We have a perfect opportunity to test this right now. You are probably enjoying the holidays and have some time off work. Do you have friends and family celebrating with you?
Here’s a challenge:
Put your phone away and be fully present with your loved ones.
Take photos if necessary, but save them to post later.
Stay off social media and avoid the news (it’s a buzzkill, for sure).
Talk with people, play physical games together, and enjoy fun conversations over good food and drink.
We think we are present when we are talking with someone while scrolling on our phones. But, we absolutely are not.
So, challenge yourself to be fully present during your holiday celebrations.
⬆️ Scroll up and hit play if you want to listen to my full discussion on this topic.
By the way, you can always schedule a complimentary call with me if you want to chat about anything and get some advice.
I’m Larry Cornett, Ph.D., an Empowerment Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate! If you’re interested in joining my free Invincible Life community, please complete this application form, and we’ll get back to you.
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