💡 The Benefit of Spending Time in a Cemetery (Issue 153)
A reminder of how you should feel about taking risks
Spending time with the dead reminds me to live.
I was recently exploring a cemetery in Alaska. Some deaths dated back to the early 1900s. It got me thinking about their lives. Thinking about the worries they must have felt (that no longer matter at all). Now, they are just a few words on fading tombstones.
It was a reset moment for me. A poignant reminder of how our lives are just a fleeting blip on the vast timeline of history.
We spend way too much of our lives worrying about looking silly, feeling stupid, being rejected, and so on. To hell with that!
No one cares. No one is paying that much attention to you. And even if they are watching you, who gives a damn? Seriously. The opinions of others rarely matter.
I always ask people to take a step back when they feel fear or anxiety in moments when they want to pursue something. When you feel it holding you back, ask yourself a few questions:
What am I worried about?
What am I afraid of?
What’s the worst thing that could happen?
If that happens, how do I recover and move on?
Who are these people to me?
Does their opinion really matter?
You can count the number of people who really matter on one hand. And guess what? If they love you, they support you in your pursuit of things that will excite you, scare you a little, challenge you, and help you grow.
Want a silly example? I recently visited Alaska to see my children. One evening, we went to a local bar for karaoke night. At first, I was super nervous about getting up on stage in front of a room full of strangers. But I enjoy karaoke, so I took my own advice and asked myself why I was scared to do it.
Who gives a damn what a bunch of strangers think! What’s the worst thing that could happen? Oh no! I suck, and people who matter nothing to me aren’t impressed. They laugh, or they boo me. Whoopty frigging do!
I’ll skip ahead to the outcome. They were supportive! Everyone was having fun. They applauded, cheered, and made all the singers feel good about having the courage to take the stage and perform.
People admire courage. They love to see people be brave even when—especially when—they aren’t superstar experts at something. People enjoy seeing relatable human beings try new things.
Regret is a terrible feeling. We quickly forget fear, but we always remember moments we let pass by because we didn’t muster the courage to take action. I’d rather try and fail a thousand times (and I think I have) than be on my deathbed with a laundry list of painful regrets.
Be brave and be bold! Remember, how you feel and what you want is more important than the imaginary negative reactions you think other people might have.
When you want something, go after it! No more fears. No more worries. Just excitement and pride, because you should feel proud of yourself for being brave enough to try (and potentially fail).
Hell, if I see you doing it, I’ll be proud of you, too! This I know for certain, because I felt proud of every damn person who got up on that stage to sing. I clapped, I cheered, and I said, “Good for them!”
Schedule a complimentary call with me and let’s discuss the thing you want to pursue that scares you!
I’m Larry Cornett, Ph.D., an Empowerment Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate! 📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals. I have one specifically for Summer!
What did you sing at karaoke? 🎤