âI canât stop my mind from racing. A million thoughts run through my head when I try to go to bed. I think of all the tasks I need to complete and all the problems I want to solve. I worry about the people I love and, before I know it, itâs 2 AM and Iâm still wide awake.â
â Anonymous friend
If that sounds like you, you know you canât keep burning the candle at both ends for too long. Lack of sleep is crushing. You canât think straight at work, you drowse off during your commute, and your health suffers.
Now that many of us are working from home, you may have heard of people who need a specific ritual that signals it is time to âgo to work.â They may only have to walk a few steps to their home office or workspace, but they need that psychological boundary and mental shift to switch modes from life to work.
Here are a few rituals that Iâve read about:
One person wraps up their morning rituals and fills their special âwork mugâ with coffee. Thatâs the cue that itâs time to âgo to work.â
Another person showers, gets dressed for work, finishes breakfast, walks out the front door of their home, and re-enters through a different entrance to step into their home office.
A friend of mine built a home office shed in the backyard so they can literally separate work from their personal life in their home.
Believe it or not, another person gets in their car, drives around the block, and returns home to start the workday.
Yes, morning rituals are essential, and many of us rely on them to start our day and go to work. But we often drop the ball on the other end of the work-life equation. We donât have a consistent evening ritual. Instead, we let our work bleed into our nights, and then we wonder why we canât sleep, and our mornings become so unpleasant.
The Problem
Since the release of the first iPhone almost 19 years ago, many of us have developed the bad habit of endlessly scrolling through our emails, messages, social media, and more in bed. How many of us? 90% of Americans have reported using a technological device in the hour before bed.
My friends, this does not make for an evening of restful slumber. It also sets us up for a rough start the next day.
Why is it so bad?
For one thing, our devices emit âblue light,â which suppresses our bodyâs release of melatonin (a hormone that makes us feel drowsy). Blue light may be helpful during the day, but it becomes a problem at night when weâre trying to fall asleep.
Additionally, when we continually read work emails and messages, we stress about things that we canât deal with right now. Iâve learned this, and I think you know it, too: You could literally work 24x7 and never be âcaught up.â
When we keep scrolling on Substack, Facebook, and the news, it gives us incredible anxiety about world events that are out of our control. For example, I was up late many evenings recently reading more news about the government shutdown in America. It sucks, but there was absolutely nothing I could do about it in that moment.
Finally, when we try to work right up to the last minute before falling asleep, it doesnât provide closure to our day. We donât give ourselves enough time to wrap things up, decompress a little, and shift our minds into relaxation mode. And you need time for rest and relaxation to be at your most creative, productive, and balanced.
Cal Newport talks about the need for a daily âshutdown ritualâ to keep your mind from spinning with unfinished work.
ââŚthis ritual should ensure that every incomplete task, goal, or project has been reviewed and that for each you have confirmed that either (1) you have a plan you trust for its completion, or (2) itâs captured in a place where it will be revisited when the time is right.â
I know I need this too. I get stressed when I feel like Iâm going to forget to add a new task to my calendar, lose an important idea overnight while I sleep, or not be prepared for a meeting in the morning. So, a few years ago, I developed an evening ritual described below to help me close out my day, calm my mind, and sleep better.
Create a new evening ritual
Basically, these evening habits of working too late and staring at your phone arenât doing you any favors. I want to share an evening routine that can help you make the most of every day and start your next morning with clarity. It will also help you sleep better every evening.
Reflect
Plan
Anticipate
Communicate
Read
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1. Reflect
You probably already know Iâm a fan of morning journaling. I harness my creativity before the tasks of the workday strip it away. I sometimes sketch to let my artistic side run wild for a few minutes before work.
I enjoy capturing random thoughts and feelings. However, I also jot down ideas for my business, new articles, and ways to assist my clients. It helps me focus my day by jotting down my goals and what I want to accomplish.
My evening reflections are different. Iâm less creative at the end of a long day. Iâm a little tired since Iâve been focused on work all day, and my mind feels drained.
So, instead of coming up with wild new ideas, I reflect on my day. You can think of this as a mini version of a post-mortem exercise that you might use for one of your work projects.
Reflecting on your day helps you evaluate things and make small improvements for the future. If you wait days, weeks, or months to reflect on how things are going at workâor in your lifeâthe details become fuzzy, and itâs not as effective.
Here are some sample questions to ask yourself. Use a paper notebook to write your answers to avoid the blue-light problem. This exercise doesnât take much time. I know you have a busy life, so try doing it for about 15 minutes.
What went well today? Why do you think it went well?
What did you enjoy doing and why?
What didnât go well? What went wrong and why?
How could you be more effective and successful next time?
What did you learn today?
Did you accomplish everything you wanted? If not, why?
What do you want to do differently tomorrow?
As you do this for a few weeks, you will probably discover that the act of writing is also cathartic. Research has found that writing can help you process traumatic, stressful, or emotionally charged events, thereby improving your physical and psychological well-being.
2. Plan
Iâm sure youâve experienced the feeling of a million ideas, issues, and problems swirling around in your brain. I know many people who struggle to fall asleep at night because their minds are racing.
The simple act of capturing those thoughts in a paper notebook helps me fall asleep more quickly in the evening. I keep a small one on my nightstand for this purpose. When I have a creative idea or a thought about how to solve a problem, I scribble it in that notebook before my head hits the pillow.
I canât make more progress or solve problems at bedtime. I know I need to sleep. However, I canât relax until I write down any issues I want to address in the morning.
So, before you crawl into bed, plan your next day. What is the most important thing you want to accomplish? Put it at the top of the list.
Sure, you can have other tasks and appointments. But if you complete that one critical task tomorrow, youâll feel accomplished. If you finish even more items on your list, youâll feel like a productivity machine.
3. Anticipate
Anticipate the activities of the next day. I always want to make sure I havenât missed an early morning meeting. I also want to get a sense of what tomorrow will be like and how Iâll weave my other tasks and activities around the scheduled discussions (e.g., time for exercise).
Scan your calendar to ensure you feel ready for the day. You can even engage in a quick visualization exercise, picturing yourself accomplishing various tasks (e.g., presenting to your boss). Block off time (i.e., private appointments with yourself) if you know youâll need some time to prepare before specific meetings.
When you have a sense of the people youâll be meeting and what youâll be doing, your unconscious mind can prepare. Itâs surprising, but Iâve found that priming myself for tomorrowâs events must somehow allow my brain to process things while Iâm sleeping.
I often wake up with an immediate creative solution to a problem I thought about the night before. Thatâs why I love to grab my journal first thing in the morning to capture those ideas before getting distracted.
4. Communicate
Communicate with your future self. Think of this as a low-budget âtime machineâ that lets you send a message to the you of tomorrow morning. What do you want to share with yourself?
Capture where your thoughts are to enable a successful handoff to yourself tomorrow. It will help you pick up where you stopped instead of saying, âWhat in the heck was I thinking here?â
I do this when Iâm writing articles, stories, and my book. Iâll quickly scribble a few bullet points that capture the essence of what Iâm thinking and then jump back into writing the next day.
I canât think of the authorâs name right now, but they had an interesting strategy for avoiding writerâs block. Even when they knew exactly how they wanted to end the chapter they were currently writing, they wouldnât finish it if the day was almost over. Instead, theyâd write a few notes about what they had in mind and go to bed.
The next morning, they didnât have to waste any time thinking about what to write or how to get started. They knew exactly what they had envisioned and how they would end the chapter they were in the middle of writing the previous day. They could dive right into things.
Therefore, you can apply the same approach to your work. Leave things in a good state the night before, with you knowing exactly what you want to do next. Make a few notes to communicate that vision to your future self, go to sleep, and attack it again when youâre fresh in the morning.
5. Read
Finally, instead of staring at your phone in bed or looking at a TV screen, open a good book. We all know we should probably read more, but we struggle to find the time.
I was a voracious reader when I was younger. I would finish numerous books every week. Sometimes, I would read a book a day.
But as I grew older, life got in the way of my reading hobby. I was so busy with textbooks during college and graduate school that I didnât have time to read for pleasure. Later, when I was in the middle of my career, I felt like I should only read books on professional development, leadership, and business.
Only in the last few years have I started reading for pleasure again. For example, I no longer feel guilty about reading fiction for fun.
Whatever you prefer and works for you (e.g., fiction, nonfiction, humor, biographies, mysteries), try reading as a bedtime ritual to calm your mind. As much as we love Netflix and scrolling social media on our phones, those activities arenât conducive to a good nightâs sleep.
My wife and I got into a bad habit of watching a show on Netflix every evening in bed. It felt like a comforting ritual, but we noticed we werenât sleeping very well. Weâd wake up several times during the night. Sometimes weâd wake up early (e.g., 4â5 AM) and couldnât fall back asleep.
For the past few weeks, weâve set Netflix aside in favor of reading in bed for 30â60 minutes. Iâve noticed that I get much sleepier and drop off quickly into slumberland.
Test this ritual on yourself
I know. Establishing bedtime, morning, and work rituals can feel rigid. Itâs fun to be spontaneous, wild, and free!
Some of us are creatures of habit and find it centering and calming to create and follow rituals (Hi there!). Iâve always enjoyed personal optimization and experimenting with ways to be more effective, productive, and healthier. However, some individuals find it challenging to establish new habits and often find them stifling to follow.
However, if youâre discovering that being wild and free is messing with your productivity, sleep, and health, it might be time to test a better routine.
For the next few weeks, try these five activities: reflection, planning, anticipation, communication, and reading. You wonât see the benefits right away, so give it some time and give it a chance. Let me know if this evening ritual helps you! Feel free to share other strategies youâve used to wrap up your day in a positive way.
Schedule a complimentary call with me and letâs chat!
Iâm Larry Cornett, Ph.D., an Empowerment Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate! đ Check out my Invincible Daily Journals. I have one specifically for Summer!
