Now, this is the calendar of a full-time writer, of course. Those of us who don’t make a living from our writing need a different schedule and strategy. We have that annoying thing that takes up most of our calendar’s time: a job. Or, in my case, a business or two.

If you’re like me, you have dreamed of writing a book one day, but have never quite reached the finish line. Even though I’ve been an avid reader for my entire life, I have never published what I would call a real book (I don’t think my daily journals count). I always wanted to, and I have several notebooks (physical and virtual) full of story ideas, drafts, and notes. But taking a proper book all the way has felt out of reach.

I’m getting older now, so I know my time is running out. That’s why I came up with a new strategy a few years ago, which helped me finish the first draft of my book. Now, I’m in the editing phase and finding out that this is even harder than writing that first draft! But I’m chipping away at it and making some changes and additions, because the world has changed a lot over the past couple of years, and I have changed, too.

Subscribe now

Regardless, the strategy worked! It forced me to write consistently and get that draft done. I know some of you dream of writing a book one day, too. So, I want to share what I’ve learned and some tools I use.

Creating the book outline

I have been exploring writing both fiction and nonfiction books. Years ago, I decided to focus on a nonfiction book about becoming empowered in your life and career. I had been taking notes for this book for a few years. I had also been writing related articles on Medium and Substack.

I had a general idea of the overall structure of the book, but I hadn’t formalized it. Well, one day I took a large paper sketchpad with me to the outdoor patio of a local business. I sat down for the afternoon and forced myself to outline the book chapters, including some key bullet points about the content of each chapter.

I started with a flow diagram of the arc of the book, sketching with pencil. I erased and changed the flow as I thought it all through. Then, once I liked the overall arc, I started on the outline. Agan, using pencil and paper made the process much faster than fiddling with digital tools (e.g., apps on my laptop or phone). It was so easy to sketch, jot down notes, erase, and modify with the flick of my pencil.

Once I was happy with that outline, I used my markdown app, Ulysses, to put that structure into a dedicated project folder. That let me set writing goals (e.g., word counts) and add chapter content when I was ready.

My primary writing app

As just mentioned, Ulysses is my primary app for writing stories and books. I selected it because I could install the app on my MacBook, iPad, and iPhone. My content is stored in the cloud, which lets me seamlessly move between all my devices as I work on my stories and chapters. You can read more about other writers who chose Ulysses and why it works for them.

I wanted to write in a markdown app that didn’t use its own proprietary formatting, which rarely transfers well to other publishing tools. Yeah, yeah, I know a lot of people use Microsoft Word. But I’m not a fan, and I wanted clean text to copy and import into many other services (e.g., Substack, Medium) and tools (e.g., Vellum).

The Ulysses editor also lets you set the main writing window to full screen so you can focus without other distractions. I have found it to be quick, and I love that I can pick up writing with any device I have handy.

For example, I always have my iPhone in my pocket. So, if I’m out and about while an idea hits me, I can pull out my phone, open Ulysses, and quickly add new content to a chapter. I don’t have to wait until I get home to access my computer.

Not on iOS?

My friends on Android love Obsidian. It is a great markdown app that works across multiple platforms, including iOS, Android, Mac, Windows, and Linux. I have tried it, and it’s really cool. But I was already used to Ulysses and in that workflow.

Sharing with subscribers

The biggest productivity and consistency boost for my writing came from sharing draft chapters with my subscribers. There’s nothing like a little accountability to others to help you stay committed and on track!

For a couple of years, I would release a draft book chapter to my Substack newsletter subscribers. Knowing that the readers were waiting kept me on schedule. If I missed a week (or was slow publishing a chapter), someone would message me and ask when the next chapter was going to be ready!

This also became a good channel for getting some feedback from people. For example, I would hear if something was confusing or missing context. Then, I could make some edits or add new content to other chapters to help clarify things.

Subscribe now

Bookfunnel for building your list

Bookfunnel is a useful service for authors:

Using Bookfunnel, I set up a page to let people download a sample chapter from my book. This also lets them join my mailing list so I can notify them when the final book is available. I have used the service for some of my fiction books as well.

Vellum for designing your book

Vellum is my favorite app for designing the final layout for my eBooks and print books. It is elegant, easy to use, and the book design is quite lovely! It’s great to see the preview of your book (e.g., ebook or paper book) while you write.

You can create ebooks for every platform (e.g., Kindle, Kobo, Apple Books, etc.). Each specialized file can guide readers to buy your next book in their favorite store. If you have a series, you can combine everything into a box set in just a few steps.

For print books, you choose your trim size, and Vellum does the rest, with an automatic setup of margins, page numbers, and headers and footers. The app handles complex tasks like widow-handling and spread-balancing, giving you a professional result every time you generate a book.

Paper notebooks for quick ideas

I’ll keep beating this drum forever. There is nothing like a paper notebook for quickly capturing ideas and sketching concepts. I am a tech geek, and I use so many digital tools. But none of them are easier or faster than sketching on paper. Not one!

So, every morning I sit with my coffee, take out my journal (yes, I use my own journals!), and capture ideas for my stories, books, and articles. My overall goal is to publish my nonfiction book, so I write a to-do list of what I will work on that day to get closer to that goal.

My overall flow is:

1. Quick daily notes and ideas on paper (e.g., paper notebooks and sketchpads).

2. Using those notes to write draft chapters and articles using Ulysses.

3. Publishing from Ulysses to Substack for my subscribers.

4. Editing again in Ulysses with feedback from readers.

5. Copying from Ulysses to Vellum for final book design and layout work.

6. Publishing a sample chapter on Bookfunnel to sign up readers.

7. Using Vellum to generate and export the final book files for import into services like Amazon and Barnes & Noble (i.e., to start selling the book).

A writing community for support and education

It is risky to put all your eggs in one basket. I have watched some authors fully commit to Amazon, for example, and get screwed over later. That’s why I joined the Wide for the Win community. It is a Facebook group for indie and hybrid authors who are going wide with their books (i.e., not Kindle Unlimited exclusive) and want to find other authors to talk shop with.

I’m not a fan of using Facebook, but that’s where their community is hosted. Publishing and selling books can be a very tricky business. So, it’s super helpful to get advice from authors who have figured things out and found ways to succeed and thrive. Some writers there are making significant money from their books!

So, I recommend joining to learn more about the process of writing and publishing.

Good luck!

I hope some of this helps you on your writing journey. I have written and published a few books on Amazon and Barnes & Noble, so I know how the process works end-to-end. Now, I’m taking that journey again for my “real books.”

Wish me luck, too!

Subscribe now

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

The sound of electrical sizzling is never a cheerful one! It’s the sound of danger and a future repair project.

Yesterday, I flipped a switch downstairs, and the overhead lights started flickering. Even the hallway lights were misbehaving, and a subtle buzzing sound came from the switch plate on the wall in our old house.

Ugh, that’s never a good thing. ☹️

Then, the lights went out for good. I had already experienced something similar years ago with an old outlet. That time, the faint smell of burning wiring accompanied it. Yikes! I repaired that myself, too.

Here’s the old switch I removed, which dated back to 1989. You can’t buy much for $0.59 these days! 1989 feels like yesterday to me, but that means the switch was at least over 37 years old. I’m going to crack it open today to see what caused that sound. I’m curious…

Luckily, I have a stash of new switches from previous home repair projects. A quick visit to the main breaker panel, some minor rewiring work, and all's well!

Subscribe now

After living in old houses for so long, I’ve learned to keep some electrical and plumbing parts and supplies on hand, so I don’t have to run to the hardware store all the time (or when I can’t at midnight).

One thing that helped us semi-retire early (I was 50) is that we DIY most of our home and vehicle maintenance and repairs. It always saves you money, of course. But sometimes, being able to fix things yourself is all that stands between you and a dangerous or damaging situation.

Even if you have all the money in the world, it’s going to be hard to get a plumber or electrician to come to your house at midnight in a remote location, like where we live. We had a leak once that I discovered at 1 AM. If I hadn’t been able to shut off our water, the damage would have been tremendous by the time a plumber showed up the next day.

By the way, YouTube is your DIY friend! Check out this channel as one example. But you can also search for specific problems, like how to repair a leaking pipe, how to safely power off an electrical circuit, or how to shut off your gas line in an emergency.

For example, we’ve saved thousands of dollars on the maintenance, repairs, and cleaning of our pellet stove alone. Every year, I clean the ash out of the chimney pipe, and it’s amazing how much accumulates in just one season! I’ve experimented and learned a few tricks for managing the mess (e.g., catching the ash in a clear bag).

A few tips that have helped me make disassembly, repair, and reassembly work easier. I learned the hard way!

• Keep your appliance manuals (e.g., furnace, washing machine, dishwasher, stove) and file them somewhere you can easily find them later.

• Keep a list of your appliances, brand names, model numbers, and information about the parts. I have a list on my phone, so I know what to get when something needs replacing (e.g., windshield wiper model numbers, unique lightbulbs, fuses, etc.).

• Take photos and videos of the process, step by step. It sure is easier to put things back together later when you have the information stored for what it should look like.

• Use your phone to capture photos and videos of stuff that you can’t easily see with your eyes directly (e.g., the back panel of a stove, underneath your vehicle, behind a water heater).

• Use a piece of paper or cardboard to store the parts, screws, bolts, washers, wires, etc. as you take things apart (e.g., tape them down). You can even label things if that helps.

• Write notes to your future self about any tricky aspects of cleaning, maintenance, and repair. It’s easy to forget things when you rarely deal with them.

Yes, there are times you should call an expert. In my case, I don’t like dealing with complicated electrical and plumbing work. It can be dangerous, and I’m not a pro. So, even I call a licensed repair service occasionally.

However, we all know of simple projects that we could do ourselves. And again, YouTube is a magical resource for learning how to do things. It will save you money, but it may also simply be necessary because time is of the essence (e.g., turning off the gas when there’s a leak) and no one is available, no matter how big of a check you can write.

What DIY lessons have you learned?

Leave a comment

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

Then, computers and printers came along, and I could create lists and print them out. Sweet! Better, but still not the best.

Now, I create reusable packing lists on my iPhone using the free Reminders app. I have my lists on iCloud so I can also access them from my laptop and iPad.

I make sure to toggle on “Show Completed” so items don’t disappear from the list (they move to the bottom instead). And you can choose how the list is sorted. Heck, you could even print the list if you miss good ol’ paper!

Subscribe now

The app isn’t perfect, though. I can’t duplicate and edit to create another list. So, I have to create an entirely new list for other travel purposes.

That’s the nice thing about digital lists, though. I can create lists for international trips, local weekend getaways, and longer trips that include outdoor recreation (like Alaska).

What's your favorite free app for creating packing lists?

Leave a comment

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

Their friends are always surprised to hear how long our visits are, for example. Their parents may come to visit for a week every few years. We tend to visit for 3-6 weeks twice a year. They also come home to visit us, usually for holidays.

Their parents either stay at home or do the usual tourist stuff around town. We go on 15-mile mountain ridge hikes with our kids and backpacking trips to remote cabins. Again, our children’s friends are surprised that we are capable of that.

But none of this happened by accident.

We didn’t get “lucky.” All of it has been an intentional strategy and plan for the past 20+ years.

Subscribe now

I intentionally designed a solopreneur business that maximized my freedom after leaving my last corporate job, so we can travel and work from anywhere and not be locked down to specific geographies or time zones. It has taken decades of preparation to make this possible.

We intentionally invested in our health and fitness so we could live better lives and keep up with our kids on adventures. I’m 60 years old now and do hikes that I know I couldn’t have handled at 40. I have been working out 1-2 hours/day almost every day for over 17 years to make this possible.

However, it’s never too late.

Decide what kind of life you want for your future self and fight hard to make it happen. Make a plan and invest in the habits and actions that will make it come true.

It will require sacrifices and tradeoffs, but living a better life and being closer to your loved ones is worth it!

What can you do now to ensure the last half of your life is even more amazing? You can schedule a free call with me to brainstorm some ideas!

Book Your Free Call

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

I took the photo below of his yacht in Juneau, Alaska as I sat on our deck enjoying good food and drink with friends and family. It has been here for several weeks, but no one knows for sure if he is even present because—like most billionaires—he must hide from commoners like us.

People like Zuck can’t enjoy a normal life anymore.

• They travel with bodyguards.

• They fear kidnapping attempts.

• They set up decoy vehicles.

• They are almost universally despised (except for the few billionaire worshippers who love them for some unfathomable reason).

It’s sadly amusing that some people crave his lifestyle. They wish they could become billionaires living on yachts, too. But why? Why would you want a life of less freedom, surprisingly trapped by your wealth?

Subscribe now

Later, we grabbed burgers and drinks in a dive bar across the harbor. His yacht was still in view, so we mentioned how he could never do what we were doing. Zuckerberg could never be a normal human being again (was he ever?), grab a burger and beer, and dance to live music in a bar like that (for so many reasons). He could never walk down the street to enjoy a taco from the local taco truck. He could never go on a beautiful mountain hike with his loved ones (like we did a few days ago) and see the views we enjoyed (photos below).

What is true wealth?

• Love, health, and happiness.

• The deep satisfaction gained from working hard to succeed.

• Reaping the rewards from an investment of your time and energy.

• Enjoying your freedom and ability to explore and experience the wonders of this world.

The views on our hike that we earned from an extremely hard 12-hour hike wouldn’t be as enjoyable from a private helicopter flown by a servant. And you certainly couldn’t soak your sore feet in a cold mountain lake while playing with your daughter's dog or enjoy the snacks and cold beverages you carried in a pack on your own back.

The delicious king crab legs we enjoyed the other night wouldn’t taste as delicious if they had been brought to us by someone else or cooked by our hired chef. We earned that fresh crab that we caught and cooked within a few hours.

Our blood, sweat, and tears of building the traps, taking them out into the open ocean in a small boat, dropping them into the water, and straining to retrieve those heavily-loaded traps the next day. I have never tasted such deliciously-fresh crab in my life! While others would have paid almost $900 to enjoy that meal (locally priced at $120 per leg!), we bought ours with time and effort. I've been on both sides of this kind of experience, so I know what tastes sweeter in the end.

Unfortunately, I know my words on this topic often fall on deaf ears. So many people desire extreme wealth. So many think they will somehow be magically different and can enjoy those billions without living in seclusion, surrounded by bodyguards and servants, and hated by the rest of humanity.

Okay, good luck with that! But, be careful what you wish for.

You’d be surprised by how little it takes to live an amazing, adventurous, and memorable life surrounded by loved ones, having wonderful adventures, and enjoying everything to its fullest. That is true wealth!

➡️ Want to design your path to an life? Book a free call with me!

Schedule a Free Call

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

My family was very close when we were young. We spent a lot of time together. I remember weekends and summers filled with swimming at the lake and nearby river, hiking old country paths, camping in the Rockies, sledding in the winter, etc.

We did everything together!

So, it made me sad to realize how far apart we had drifted over the years as we grew older. I live in California, two of my siblings are in Colorado, and the rest of the family is still in Nebraska. So, we can’t just pop over for dinner or make a quick drive for a weekend visit!

Subscribe now

A few years ago, I decided to reconnect with them more often. We would try to visit more often, but we also wanted to stay in touch every day. So, we started using the following to maintain our relationships…

• We have a sibling group chat. I would love to get everyone on Discord, but we’re just using SMS for now.

• We share little updates, photos, and memes with each other daily.

• We’ve started scheduling an annual reunion to hike, enjoy good food and drink, and have fun! The photo below is from our hike this past weekend near Lake Tahoe.

• We also see each other at different times throughout the year.

It’s not easy! We live pretty far apart and have our usual life and work commitments. But we’ve decided that it’s really important. We’re not kids anymore! So, who knows how many years we have left to enjoy each other’s company?

What do you do to stay in touch with your siblings? Reply to this email or leave a comment to share with us. I’m always looking for new ideas!

Leave a comment

Book a Free Call with Me

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

Most modern websites and apps provide features to enable better security for your accounts. But many people don’t use them for a variety of reasons:

• They don’t even know these security features exist.

• They don’t know that a password isn’t enough to keep your account safe.

• They don’t understand multi-factor authentication or think it’s too complicated.

• They know about it, but think it’s too tedious to set up and use.

However, do you know what is even more tedious and painful?

• Losing access to your account.

• Letting your friends know you were hacked.

• Trying to recover your account from a hacker.

• Losing money when hackers gain deeper access (e.g., to your bank account).

Subscribe now

The small amount of friction you experience when you set up and use better security for your accounts is well worth the investment. Believe me!

For many years, I hosted several WordPress sites. They are such a target for hackers! I had to install all kinds of security plugins and configure things to be more secure. Yet hackers still found ways to upload and inject malicious code. I had a few sites hacked that I had to reset and clean up. Some were so bad that I just deleted everything and started over. Eventually, I gave up on WordPress and moved my websites elsewhere.

I’ve also been using email and social media forever. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times hackers try to get into my accounts. For example, almost every day, someone attempts to reset my Instagram password so they can take over my account. Luckily, I’ve configured things to not make that easy for them.

My security practices

I use a complex and unique password for every account, and a good password manager makes that a lot easier. I also use two-factor authentication and a hardware security key whenever possible (sadly, not all services provide this).

I’m also in the habit of doing things to keep security tighter and avoid typical hacker attempts. Do you know how websites ask if you trust this computer/device and want to save your username and stay logged in?

Call me paranoid, I guess. But if someone steals my laptop, the last thing I want is them being able to get into my accounts that are still authenticated in the web browser.

When I’m away from home (e.g., working at a coffee shop, airport, or hotel), I’m very careful about using the official Wi-Fi networks. I’m sure you’ve noticed all kinds of strange Wi-Fi networks when you look for one to join in a public environment. Some of them even use names to pretend to be the official Wi-Fi network. So, I use a virtual private network (VPN) from Proton to encrypt my internet data while I’m using someone else’s Wi-Fi.

Also, I never click links in emails. I’m always receiving some sort of notification about some account every day. Some of those are hacking attempts (e.g., you can see that the sending email is not the real domain). Of course, some are legitimate. But I don’t want to get into the bad habit of clicking links in emails and making a mistake one day.

If the service is using email to inform you of an issue or problem (e.g., your credit card has expired, an order is delayed, you need to accept new terms, etc.), that same info will be available on their website after you log into your account. Don’t click the link in the email. Navigate to the official website in your browser (e.g., enter the URL manually or use your trusted bookmark), use your usual security methods to log in (e.g., password and two-factor auth), and look for the message or notification on the website to address the issue. This is way safer than clicking links in an email that can be spoofed!

I don’t claim to be the world’s leading expert on internet security, so I've included a bunch of useful resources below. I hope they help!

Some helpful resources

• Top 15 internet safety rules and what not to do online

• 1Password - Password management service

• What is two-factor authentication?

• The Best Authenticator Apps for 2026

• The Best Hardware Security Keys for 2026

• How to set up two-factor authentication on Substack

• Why SMS texts to your phone aren’t that secure for two-factor authentication

• How to Protect Yourself from SIM-Swapping Attacks

• Stop SIM Swappers Cold: Protect Your Phone Number With These 7 Tips

• Your guide to staying secure on public Wi-Fi

• What is a virtual private network (VPN)?

• Securing your Instagram account

• Keeping your Facebook account secure

Book a Free Call with Me

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

Nicole and I sat down with Dr. Amber Hull, a U.S. Board Certified physician currently licensed and practicing women’s health in British Columbia. We discussed the critical intersection of physical health, hormonal changes, relationships, and career fulfillment in our “second half” of life.

We also explored how the traditional compartmentalization of the different facets of our lives is pretty artificial. Instead, we need a holistic approach where we prioritize our wellbeing to maximize our personal and professional lives, especially as we age.

Key Takeaways

*Summarized from our audio transcript by Proton’s Lumo AI

• Hormones Drive Cognitive Performance: Many midlife professionals mistake perimenopausal symptoms (brain fog, anxiety, fatigue) for burnout or depression. Addressing the root hormonal causes and prioritizing sleep is often more effective than simply prescribing antidepressants.

• “Pay Yourself First” with Time: Just as you save money, you must aggressively block off time on your calendar for exercise, rest, and recovery before scheduling work obligations. This isn’t selfishness! It’s a necessary investment to prevent burnout and ensure longevity.

• The Danger of Unregulated Trends: Be highly skeptical of “snake oil” solutions like unregulated peptides or blanket hormone prescriptions. Unlike past pendulum swings in medical advice, the current approach requires individualized risk assessments rather than one-size-fits-all protocols.

• Redefining Intimacy and Pleasure: For women (and their partners), libido often dips because of the sheer weight of caretaking, work, and life responsibilities. True intimacy requires shifting from a transactional mindset to one where a partner’s pleasure and sense of “being seen” are centered without expectation of some sort of reciprocity.

• The Power of Saying “No”: It’s amazing to reach a life stage where you stop trying to make everyone else happy all the time. Setting firm boundaries with employers, family, and others allows you to reclaim your agency and design a life that aligns with your values and needs.

• Self-Advocacy is Non-Negotiable: Medical education has not always covered midlife changes and health adequately, so patients must become experts about their own bodies and health. Ask tough questions about risks and benefits rather than blindly trusting authority figures.

• Exercise is the Great Equalizer: While pharmaceutical interventions carry risks and trade-offs, consistent physical activity (e.g., weightlifting, walking, hiking, yoga) remains the single most reliable, low-risk intervention for maintaining physical vitality and mental clarity.

⬆️ Scroll up and hit play to watch the video and listen to our full conversation.

Subscribe now

About Dr. Hull

Dr. Amber Hull is a U.S. Board Certified physician currently licensed and practicing women’s health in British Columbia. She is a Menopause Society Certified Practitioner (MSCP) and an active member of the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health and the International Society for Sexual Medicine.

She takes an evidence-based, integrative approach to women’s health; considering measurable goals within the context of improving quality of life. She has a deep understanding of the physical and emotional changes that happen throughout the lifespan; especially in the context of puberty, postpartum, and peri/menopause. In addition to full-time clinical practice in Vancouver, she writes about medicine, immigration, and sexual health on Substack at Under the White Coat.

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

Dr. Hull is a U.S. Board Certified physician currently licensed and practicing women’s health in British Columbia. She is a Menopause Society Certified Practitioner (MSCP) and an active member of the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health and the International Society for Sexual Medicine.

Dr. Hull takes an evidence-based, integrative approach to women’s health; considering measurable goals within the context of improving quality of life. She has a deep understanding of the physical and emotional changes that happen throughout the lifespan; especially in the context of puberty, postpartum, and peri/menopause. In addition to full-time clinical practice in Vancouver, she writes about medicine, immigration, and sexual health on Substack at Under the White Coat.

We will discuss living fully, regardless of age, and talk about women’s health, longevity, and the evolution of pleasure. My wife and I are big believers in making the second half of life as exciting and adventurous as possible. That can only happen if you take care of yourself and invest in your health and wellness—in all aspects.

Dr. Hull’s philosophy aligns well with how we feel about improving your quality of life and living larger. So, we’re excited to talk with her later this week!

Subscribe now

The link for the live event:

https://open.substack.com/live-stream/295087?utm_source=live-stream-scheduled-upsell

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

Parenting has changed over the past decades. People are spending more time with their children than past generations did. As a Gen X dad, I know I spent more time with my kids than most of the Boomer fathers I knew when I was growing up. I was pretty lucky, though. My dad actually did spend a lot of time with us. When he wasn’t working, we did stuff as a family (e.g., shopping, drive-in movies, hunting and fishing, swimming at the lake and river, going on long walks in the country, sledding, camping, and other vacations).

Still, it took me a few years of marriage to warm up to the idea of being a father. I was very focused on my graduate school education and my career in Silicon Valley. I wanted to get things off to a solid start and make enough money to feel comfortable supporting a family.

🎧 NOTE: I go into more detail in the audio of this podcast episode. So, scroll up and hit play if you want to listen. ⬆️

But guess what? You never feel you have enough money or that your career is cruising on autopilot. I remember when my mother-in-law talked with us about having children, and we explained why we were waiting (e.g., money, feeling ready to be parents).

She was right. That’s true about many things in life.

I talk about that when coaching people to plan a self-employed business model that will help them escape their 9-to-5 job and semi-retire early. No one ever feels 100% ready to quit their job and run a business. No one ever feels as though they have saved enough money and invested enough to retire safely. You just don’t! Unless you got really lucky and made the kind of money that you know you’ll be okay. But even multimillionaires and billionaires don’t like the idea of retirement. I have thoughts about why that happens, but that’s a conversation for another time…

At some point, if you know you want to become a parent, it’s a leap of faith. Sure, don’t rush it like an unprepared fool. But you also can’t keep putting it off until it’s too late and physically impossible.

Subscribe now

So, yes, we became parents, and it worked out. It was scary at first. My wife is such a natural mother. I’m not exaggerating when I say she is the best mom in the world. If you don’t believe me, ask our children. They adore her. Everyone does. So, I think she flowed right into caring for our newborn and giving her exactly what she needed. Loving that tiny person more than anything else in the world helps.

But I still felt like I had to learn how to be a father. The love part was easy. My heart had felt nothing like that before. You can’t really explain it to someone who isn’t a parent (and I know not all parents feel it). I had never felt love like that before. The kind of love that means you would do anything for your child, protect your child at all costs, and die for a child in an instant.

• No questions.

• No second guessing.

• No hesitation.

• You just know it.

A funny thing happens when you have known someone and loved them from birth. They exist in your heart and mind as a continuum from baby to adult. The visual in my mind is something like the one below from the television series Avatar: The Last Airbender. We watched this show with our children for years (they loved it).

When I think about my children, I visualize the flow of their existence from newborn to adult. It all exists simultaneously with a blend of memories from their entire lives. I have loved them and interacted with them in ever-evolving ways. For me, it is sometimes hard to let go of the babies and young children I remember. I think part of it is because I had to work so much, so I wasn’t as present in their lives as I wished I could be. It saddens me, so perhaps I cling to those memories.

So, as a Gen X father, my career was supposedly my primary quest, and being a dad was a side quest. It’s kind of messed up, and I’m glad to see younger generations challenge that notion. Sure, we need to make a living. But raising good, amazing people who can help bring more good into this world is more important than any corporate mission statement or career goal.

Eventually, I figured that out and walked away from my corporate career in 2010. I wanted to be a better father and husband. I wanted to take better care of myself and my health so that I could see my children grow up, start their own families, and bring their own children into this world. I wanted to experience being a grandfather! The path I was on risked all of that.

When I look back on my life’s accomplishments, nothing compares to being a dad. I am a father and husband first; a coach second.

I enjoy running my business and helping people, but my family comes first now. My children are the best thing that has ever happened to me. They are the most amazing people I know. I know every parent says that, but I wish you could meet them. They are so smart, adventurous, courageous, compassionate, caring, funny, and wonderful people to spend time with. We are so lucky that they still enjoy being with us. They come home to visit, we travel to see them, and we still do things together (e.g., hiking, backpacking, camping, travel, vacations, etc.).

That’s why I intentionally designed a flexible, asynchronous, location-independent business that lets me own my time and travel where I want, when I want. Now, we visit our children and spend several weeks with them. Being able to do this did not happen by accident. No job would ever have enabled it. It hasn’t been easy to make it happen, but it has been worth it.

So, the side quest became my primary quest. That happens sometimes.

In this case, it happened because it should have happened. I think that many of the issues in this world come from poor parenting. I hear stories of bad parents, toxic parents, unloving parents, absentee parents, etc. The list goes on and on. Some people rise above terrible experiences and swear that they will never do that to their children. They became great parents despite the negative parenting they had experienced. However, some people are damaged by their upbringing, so they take it out on the rest of us and the rest of the world. Sadly, I see that all the time.

My message is this: If you’re going to be a parent, be a great one. Make it your priority. I don’t mean the lip service I hear all the time. I mean, really prioritizing your children over other things. Really.

I’m gonna brain dump some thoughts on parenting. I’m not saying we were perfect, or that we got it right the first time. But you know what? We wanted to get better at parenting. We invested in it, learned from our mistakes, and kept trying to improve. We still are working on things as we’re becoming parents of adult children!

• Quality time matters, but so does quantity.

• Love them deeply and fully.

• Accept them and support them completely.

• Expose them to a variety of foods early and often.

• Read to them every day until they fall in love with reading.

• Travel with them so they experience the world and other cultures.

• Protect them and defend them (this world can really suck).

• Be a role model for good behavior, decency, emotional regulation, self-care, etc.

• Explore the outdoors with them, and put them on the path to exercise and health.

• Help them grow and let them face challenges appropriately.

• Don’t give in to the temptation to give them everything under the sun.

• Limit their access to screens, online bullshit, and the associated risks.

• Don’t make their life so easy that they face no failures.

• Respect them, talk with them, and actually listen to them.

• Take ownership of staying connected with your adult children.

• Ask and learn about their lives, relationships, careers, and more.

• Make the effort to communicate, travel to them, and visit them.

I’m sure some of this advice and my opinions will resonate with some of you. But I also know that some of you will disagree with some of it, feel irritated, or even pissed off. Such is the nature of being a human being and sharing opinions online!

If you don’t like it, write your own article about children and parenting. It’s free to do so! And it’s a great way to express yourself and get things off your chest. Hey, that’s why I do it.

🎧 I expand on much of what is written here in the audio of this podcast episode, so scroll up and hit play to listen. ⬆️ Or ignore me. That’s cool, too.

Schedule Your Free Call with Me

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

I’m forcing myself to relax and sketch more quickly. Trying to capture essence and emotion. Letting the pencil flow without my usual insistence on precision.

And yes, it felt meditative. I hope you’re playing around with m…

Read more

Read more

I got pretty chunky after turning 40. ☹️

I had been a skinny child and teen, so my brain didn’t catch up to realize how overweight I had slowly been becoming with my corporate desk job. It can sneak up on you!

But I finally got serious about exercise in my mid-40s. A combination of CrossFit, weightlifting, running, and eating healthier helped me drop 40…

Read more

As you may already know (and might be tired of hearing about), I’m a coffee nut. My quest to perfect how I brew coffee started in my early 20s and has continued to evolve for the past 35+ years.

I started where most Nebraskans did in that time period before good coffee was a thing in …

Read more

“Why do I feel guilty about exploring and learning too many new things?”

I’ve recently entered an interesting phase of life.

• I’m acutely aware of my mortality—for many reasons.

• I left my primary career behind way back in 2010, after decades of investing in that path and achieving some success (not everything I wanted, but enough).

• I slid into self-employ…

Read more

He was a strong blue-collar dude, but …

Read more

You guessed it. They bought the child an even more expensive new car.

I understand the desire to give your children a better life than you had, especially if you grew up poor, suffered, or endured trauma. But there is a difference between giving your child a good life and an easy life.

Giving someone an easy life doesn’t do them any favors in the long run. Infantilization doesn’t help someone learn, grow, and be ready for the realities of life.

• We need to work hard.

• We need to learn value.

• We need some struggles.

• We need to understand consequences.

• We need to learn about accountability, respect, and compassion.

I’m always surprised when I discover that friends completely cover everything for their children, never tell them no, give them whatever they want, and never expect that they contribute in any way. I have friends whose children have never had jobs, never paid for anything, and never helped out around the house with chores.

Even after these children became adults, they still lived in the home rent-free, never paid for groceries, never helped cook meals, drove cars provided by the parents, and went on fancy vacations around the world covered by the parents.

I guess we’ll see later, but I suspect these kids are going to have a rough time adjusting to real life once they graduate from college, move out, and have to get the first real jobs of their lives.

Subscribe now

We raised our children differently

When our kids were younger, living at home, and going to school, I was making pretty good money in my tech career. We could have given them anything and everything they wanted, but we did not.

Yes, we provide a home, food, clothing, and covered most of the things they required for their education and life. But they all had part-time jobs during high school. If they wanted to buy stuff and have fun adventures, they covered it with their income (e.g., video games, toys, movies with friends, etc.).

My wife and I both grew up without money. We had to work hard during college to pay rent, cover bills, and afford food (never enough food!). That struggle made us value things a lot more. It also forced us to be adults (imagine that), create budgets, be responsible, and learn about delayed gratification. If we wanted something special, we had to put in more hours, save up, and find a way to make it happen. We couldn’t just ask Mommy and Daddy for it.

We had watched what happened when friends were given whatever they wanted and never learned about responsibilities and accountability. Hell, we still know some of these people (in our 50s now), and they are still screwing up their lives. They never really grew up, and it shows.

So, we didn’t want that to happen to our children. They had chores, jobs, and contributions to make to the household. Sure, there were times they needed some additional financial help. It’s getting harder and harder to get by in this country as a young person (hell, it’s hard for all of us!). But we never just gave them money. Instead, we gave them interest-free loans, and guess what? They have all paid us back every time.

All of my children have traveled internationally.

• My daughter traveled to France and Iceland.

• My oldest son went to Ghana and is now in Australia.

• My youngest son traveled to Germany, France, Italy, and Japan.

Every single one of them paid for their own trips.

They worked hard, made tough decisions, saved up, and covered it themselves. And because of that, they valued those trips and memories way more than if we had forked over the money for their travels.

Sorry, I tend to brag about my kids. I just think they are amazing young people, and I’m so happy with how they turned out. My wife deserves the credit for that! She’s an amazing mother.

It is tempting

As I mentioned earlier, it is so tempting to give your children everything you didn’t have. I grew up poor, and I watched other kids get stuff I could only dream about. So, when I was finally making good money, it was so tempting to buy everything and cover everything for my children. I didn’t want them to go without, struggle, and feel bad.

But giving into that temptation would have kept them from growing into their full potential as resourceful, hardworking, and responsible young adults.

You don’t have to look far to see what happens when wealthy families spoil their children. I don’t even think it requires wealth, per se. Some people go into crazy debt to give their kids everything.

However, it never seems to turn out well…

I go into more detail in this podcast episode. So, scroll up, hit play, and check it out!

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

I find myself getting rid of more and more stuff. I keep walking into the closets and rooms we have already decluttered and organized just to enjoy the way they look and feel now.

Another nice bonus? I’m rediscovering things I had forgotten or thought I had lost. Clothing, games, books, equipment, tools, etc.

It’s crazy. We already downsized a lot when we moved here 10 years ago from a larger house. But we still have too much stuff.

So, the “death cleaning” mindset helps. Do we want our kids to be forced to deal with this stuff after we’re gone? Nope.

Do we really need all these things? Also nope.

For us, the more minimal our lives become, the better we feel. The less we have to deal with, the more we buy back our precious time and mental bandwidth to make room for more valuable things in our lives.

In the book The High Price of Materialism by Tim Kasser (a psychologist), he explores how materialism and consumerism negatively affect our quality of life, our everyday happiness, and our psychological health. People with the goal of accumulating more and more wealth and material possessions face greater unhappiness, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

It’s an important lesson for Americans in particular. From the day we are born, our capitalist society bombards us with messages about being a good little consumer who needs to buy more stuff to feel complete.

• You need to work harder and make more money!

• Why? So you can buy more stuff to show how successful you are.

• You've gotta keep up with the Joneses, or you’ll end up at the bottom of the neighborhood heap.

• You must buy all this crap to look better, look younger, feel better, and boost your status.

• Uh oh, is your house getting crowded with your profusion of possessions? No problem, rent a storage unit. Better yet, buy a bigger house! Or a second house!!!

We’re told that playing this game will make us feel successful and happy. But the research does not support that. Sadly, it just makes us feel worse about ourselves and our lives. Tragically, we think buying even more will fix it, but we just end up digging a deeper hole.

The only way out is to reject all this nonsense and chart your own course. And that begins with stepping away from the shopping cart and decluttering your home to give yourself physical and psychological breathing room.

Subscribe now

Some advice from an elder

My wife has been trying to talk me into this decluttering process for years. But I was always “busy.” Spending my weekend cleaning felt like the last thing I wanted to do.

I was wrong! It feels so good to get rid of old stuff you no longer need. I only wish I had listened to her sooner. I feel like I’m learning many lessons from all of this, so I’ll share a few.

Take photos for the memories

If you’re like me, some objects trigger memories. That’s one reason I have trouble getting rid of possessions sometimes. It might be a gift from someone I love. I might remind me of playing with my children. Or, it might bring back memories of a wonderful vacation.

Now, I keep very few things and take photos of things that bring back happy memories. I don’t need the physical object, but I do enjoy remembering what the view of that object means to me.

Shred it when you get it

Ugh, we have so many boxes of paperwork from our work and lives. Some stuff can be tossed straight into paper recycling. But we have boxes of documents with confidential information that we need to shred before we can dispose of them.

Now, I keep a shredder near our incoming mail. We are trying to handle each piece of mail only once. Either it is something we need to deal with (e.g., pay a bill) or a document we can recycle or shred immediately. It’s so much easier to shred one or two documents at a time versus an entire box!

Eliminate paper if you can

Speaking of bills and confidential documents, we have been transitioning to paperless billing for years. That helps a lot! Most companies offer paperless billing, which you can specify in your account preferences (online or over the phone).

I’ve also started sorting mail as I walk back to our house. By the time I reach our driveway, I have a stack of junk mail and unwanted paper that I can toss into our recycling bin. Clutter can’t win if it doesn’t even make it inside!

Wipe old devices immediately

This issue is so painful for me since I worked in tech for over 20 years. I have a ton of computers, phones, electronics, and other devices. Don’t even get me started about all the old cables, wires, and connectors!

I have a habit of upgrading and keeping the previous device for backup or travel. That means I keep all the old cables and connectors for that device, too. Unfortunately, I’m not great about getting rid of that old backup device when I upgrade again.

So, now I have some old computers, hard drives, game consoles, etc. that I can’t boot up to wipe and reset. To add insult to injury, it is really hard to get rid of old electronics here since they are treated like hazardous waste and our local donation centers are overflowing with them (maybe that’s a California thing due to all the tech folks here?).

Therefore, I highly recommend being good about wiping devices and donating or selling them while they still work and have value. Learn from my mistakes!

Throw pain away

Some of the stuff I’m cleaning up is bringing up bad memories from my past. I guess I tossed stuff into a box when we moved and thought I’d deal with it later. Well, now it’s later.

If something makes you feel sad or angry when you see it, toss it! I won’t go into the details, but I have some books, paperwork, gifts, etc. that make me unhappy when I remember a person involved, the situation, or what it represents. I’m being ruthless now about throwing those things into the recycling, donate, and trash boxes.

Give stuff to your children

We have some things that I think our children will value—if not now, in the future when they become parents with children of their own. We’ve been holding onto baby clothes, toys, books, games, etc. for almost 30 years! It’s time to let them go.

We take photos of those items and send them to our children so they can claim them before we donate or sell them. The clutter in our house is doing us no favors. Plus, it sometimes makes me sad to see those things and realize that time went by all too quickly. My babies are all grown adults now.

Wear it or forget it

I probably donated about 50% of my clothing about a month ago. I pulled everything out of my closet and dressers and put it all on my bed to review and try on.

I was ruthless! If I hadn’t worn something in years, it went into the donate box. If the clothing was from my past life (e.g., lots of suits for business travel), I accepted I am no longer that person and no longer need those clothes. Into the donate box.

Also, I counted out the number of socks, t-shirts, pants, shorts, etc. and asked myself, “How many of these do I really need since I can easily do laundry?” For example, I don’t need a two-month supply of socks! Two to three weeks’ worth is just fine.

A fun side effect of reducing my clothing is being able to see my options more easily now. I organized my closet and dresser by color, season, and style. I discovered clothes I had entirely forgotten about and started wearing them again. Walking into our newly organized closet puts a smile on my face.

The benefits

The obvious benefit is having a tidier home with less of the stuff you don’t need cluttering your daily life. Also, if you’re a parent, you are doing your children a big favor. We have experienced what it is like to clean up a home after someone passes away. It’s so overwhelming and sad. You don’t want your loved ones dealing with that after you are gone.

However, another benefit was mood improvement. I had no idea how much stress all of this was creating. Now I find myself walking into our decluttered rooms just for the joy of seeing the results. It seriously makes me happy! And my stress levels have dropped.

I’m discovering that daily life is becoming easier and more efficient, too. I’m creating a place for everything and putting everything in its place with better labeling and organization. No more searching every room and digging through closets and boxes to find that one thing I’m so certain must be there! It’s a huge timesaver and frustration reducer.

Your environment affects you in obvious and subtle ways. Clutter makes us feel stressed and unhappy, even if we don’t realize that’s what is causing it. You only notice it once you make a big change.

Now, the challenge will be to maintain this improved situation. We have already created a rule that something must go if we want something new to come into the house.

• If we want to buy a new board game, we must donate an old game.

• If someone wants new running shoes, an old pair must leave.

• A new book comes in, so an old book goes out.

• When we buy a new pan, we take an old one to the thrift store.

Supposedly, some people find the concept of “death cleaning” to be morbid. I don’t see it that way. There’s nothing wrong with being aware of your mortality and living your life to its fullest with that knowledge reminding you that the clock is ticking. And improving your daily life in your home is a great way to enjoy your life more now.

What strategies do you use to reduce clutter in your life? I would love to hear about in the comments!

Leave a comment

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

Read more

I was feeling this way today, so I recorded a video to talk about it this morning.

• I’m feeling that familiar “10-year itch.”

• Conquering a challenge can create restlessness.

• I know many other people don’t operate this way (am I weird?).

• Do you ever sense when your current “ride” is coming to an end?

• However, feeling this impulse doesn’t mean you have to be reckless about it.

Reinventing yourself doesn’t have to feel like a crisis. I think it’s a normal recurring cycle (in my case, every 10 years). You start to recognize when your current path has run its course. You realize you have extracted as much value as you can from it, and you know you’re no longer growing or feeling excited about it.

It takes courage to recognize when this happens and create a plan to pursue the next phase of your life (sometimes before you are forced to!). If you don’t, you may start feeling trapped, frustrated, and miserable. I’ve been there before, and many of my coaching clients have been there, too.

If you embrace this feeling and create a plan first, it doesn’t have to feel like a moment of panic and chaos.

It can become your next exciting adventure!

If you’re feeling this way too, you can schedule a free call with me to chat about it and the plans you are considering.

Book Your Free Call

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!