“Why do I feel guilty about exploring and learning too many new things?”

I’ve recently entered an interesting phase of life.

• I’m acutely aware of my mortality—for many reasons.

• I left my primary career behind way back in 2010, after decades of investing in that path and achieving some success (not everything I wanted, but enough).

• I slid into self-employed semi-retirement about 10 years ago, without fully realizing that I was doing so.

• I have more time freedom and flexibility than ever before, which felt strange at first, but now feels exhilarating.

Recently, I have found myself drawn to old hobbies, interests, and activities that I forced myself to abandon in childhood. I had been told that they were not practical enough to help me make a living (e.g., being a writer, artist, or musician), so I felt bad about spending time on them. Well, now they’re back in my life again!

My brain is buzzing with new ideas and interests, too. I am certain I have ADHD, but fought to keep it under control for most of my life. Various strategies and tools have helped me manage things, but I’m now questioning why I have worked so hard to crush my endless curiosity and hunger for exploration.

• Why do we feel we must be so productive every day?

• What’s wrong with letting ourselves become distracted by things we encounter?

• Why can’t we indulge our eager brains and let them explore new ideas, information, and activities?

So, I’m challenging the notion that our hyperactive minds are insubordinate beasts that we must tame into submission. We were not put on this earth to fit into little structured boxes of existence. I refuse to believe that hundreds of thousands of years of evolution have created some flawed organism with broken behavior.

• There is a reason we think and behave the way we do.

• There is a reason we bridle at the constraints of modern society.

• There is a reason we feel drawn to novelty, exploration, and so-called distractions.

I’m tired of feeling guilty about my desire to learn and try new things. I will no longer punish myself for going “off task” and exploring new ideas every day. I will not bow down to the god of productivity, no matter how many books and articles try to sell me on the idea of becoming the most hyper-productive hustle bro in human history.

Therefore, I am shifting the focus of this newsletter and podcast to embrace a new concept that hit me the other day. It came about as I caught myself thinking, “Shoot. I have been so distracted by side quests today. I need to focus and be more productive!”

Then I asked myself…

Right then and there, I embraced the idea of pursuing a “Side Questing Life” from now on. And that will become the new name for this newsletter and podcast. It is both a noun phrase and a verb. I’m going to share the journey and joy of living a side-questing life, and I want to share how you can find fun ways to side-quest your own life.

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As I mentioned earlier, I am sure I have been struggling with ADHD my entire life. When I encounter something new, I can’t help but go deep and learn everything I can about it. I love exploring new hobbies and trying things out. Some stick, some don’t, and that’s okay! The reward is the journey, the learning, and the experience—not the outcome.

Also, it now feels so good to unload the guilt and stress of loving to explore side quests. It’s almost as if I have stopped trying to swim upstream, turned around, and let the flow take me where my curious mind wants to go. Some things that have recently happened because of this mental shift:

• I started sketching and painting again.

• I found my old harmonica (lost for over 10 years) and started playing again.

• I’m dusting off my guitars, getting ready to restring them, and will play again.

• My creative writing has kicked into high gear, and I’m writing more fiction.

• The decluttering activities have unlocked my procrastination and resistance to dealing with long-standing issues.

• I found some other cool things that went “missing” over 10 years ago.

• My willingness to be distracted and pulled into side quests helped me uncover a potentially disastrous issue and deal with it immediately. Nice payoff!

So, this is all going to translate into a curiosity-driven newsletter aimed at people who are also interested in stepping off the productivity treadmill and leading a more spontaneous, interesting, and adventurous life. We will share our new finds with you as we dive deeper into travel, cuisines, cool discoveries, and interesting concepts.

We’re going on an adventure and want to bring you along!

You only live once, and your time runs out more quickly than you think. Take it from a guy who is hitting 60 this year. So don’t let your curiosity and unexplored desires follow you to the grave. Feed your hungry mind with the delightful treats it wants!

📞 Schedule a free call with me if you want to chat about how you can make side quests a bigger part of your life.

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Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered side-questing life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to find your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

He was a strong blue-collar dude, but he was also loving, playful, and humorous. He was also available. By that, I mean he spent much of his free time with his family. Sure, there were times he had to work extra jobs and do things to make more money, since we were kind of poor (e.g., to buy Christmas presents for us). But he mostly worked his primary job and came home right after he got off work at 5 PM every day.

It was like clockwork. We lived in a tiny Midwestern town, so we knew how many minutes it would take him to drive home from the office downtown. My siblings and I would wait outside for him to pull up in his work truck. As soon as he walked up the sidewalk, we ran and jumped into his arms, digging through his shirt pockets for the ever-present pack of gum to grab a piece.

I know I was a lucky kid. I learned how to be a father from his example. He wasn’t perfect, of course. But I knew what other fathers were like, and I knew I was fortunate to have one like him.

So, when I became a father, I also wanted to be very present in my children’s lives. I read to them, played with them, took them to the park, went on hikes with them, took weekend trips to the beach, etc. As they grew older, I even played video games with them on the couch (something I had enjoyed as a teen).

However, the one big difference between me and my father was what I did for a living. While he had a blue-collar job with mostly predictable hours, I had a white-collar job designing software in Silicon Valley tech.

I learned that being on salary differed greatly from earning an hourly wage. There was no such thing as an “8-hour workday.” I still remember those initial months of my first “real job” at Apple. Silly me thought we would wrap up the day at 5 PM so we all could go home to eat dinner with our families.

But, as 5 PM approached and passed, I noticed that hardly anyone was leaving the office. Instead, we all kept working until 6, 7, 8 PM and beyond. Some nights, I worked until 10 PM or even midnight. I learned you couldn’t put in an 8-hour day if you wanted to “go above and beyond,” impress the leaders, and accomplish the kind of work that got you noticed and promoted.

So, I worked harder and longer for years and years (nights, weekends, and holidays), which resulted in my rapid advancement up the career ladder. In just an 8-year period, my managers promoted me from Sr. Designer to:

• Lead Designer

• Manager

• Sr. Manager

• Director

• Sr. Director

• Vice President

I was succeeding in my career and making more money than ever, but at what cost?

I would leave for work early in the morning to fight rush hour (a 1-2 hour morning commute), which meant my children were usually not up yet. I then worked late into the evening and fought freeway traffic again for an hour or two to get home. I missed dinner with my family, of course. But my children were often in bed already, too. So, I would go days without really seeing them until the weekend.

So much for being a great father, huh?

Eventually, I decided to leave the corporate world forever in 2010 to run my own business. I wanted the freedom to spend time with my family, take care of my health, and enjoy life more. So, I was now able to spend more time with my children, but they were no longer little kids.

I had missed that window in their young lives. And guess what? You never get that time back. You can never make it up. I did the best I could to reconnect with them and be a more present father (like my dad was), but I regret losing those early years.

If you are a parent and you still have time, I hope you can learn from my mistakes. Yes, success in your career is good. Sure, it’s nice to make more money. However, having enough is more important than making more, more, and more. But there is never enough money in the world to make up for lost time with your family. Money can’t buy everything, and it sure as heck can’t buy time that is gone.

So, find a greater balance than I did. Work hard and make money, but set strict boundaries for your personal life. Fiercely protect your time with your family. Treat it as the precious, rare treasure that it really is, because nothing will recover it when it is gone.

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Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

You guessed it. They bought the child an even more expensive new car.

I understand the desire to give your children a better life than you had, especially if you grew up poor, suffered, or endured trauma. But there is a difference between giving your child a good life and an easy life.

Giving someone an easy life doesn’t do them any favors in the long run. Infantilization doesn’t help someone learn, grow, and be ready for the realities of life.

• We need to work hard.

• We need to learn value.

• We need some struggles.

• We need to understand consequences.

• We need to learn about accountability, respect, and compassion.

I’m always surprised when I discover that friends completely cover everything for their children, never tell them no, give them whatever they want, and never expect that they contribute in any way. I have friends whose children have never had jobs, never paid for anything, and never helped out around the house with chores.

Even after these children became adults, they still lived in the home rent-free, never paid for groceries, never helped cook meals, drove cars provided by the parents, and went on fancy vacations around the world covered by the parents.

I guess we’ll see later, but I suspect these kids are going to have a rough time adjusting to real life once they graduate from college, move out, and have to get the first real jobs of their lives.

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We raised our children differently

When our kids were younger, living at home, and going to school, I was making pretty good money in my tech career. We could have given them anything and everything they wanted, but we did not.

Yes, we provide a home, food, clothing, and covered most of the things they required for their education and life. But they all had part-time jobs during high school. If they wanted to buy stuff and have fun adventures, they covered it with their income (e.g., video games, toys, movies with friends, etc.).

My wife and I both grew up without money. We had to work hard during college to pay rent, cover bills, and afford food (never enough food!). That struggle made us value things a lot more. It also forced us to be adults (imagine that), create budgets, be responsible, and learn about delayed gratification. If we wanted something special, we had to put in more hours, save up, and find a way to make it happen. We couldn’t just ask Mommy and Daddy for it.

We had watched what happened when friends were given whatever they wanted and never learned about responsibilities and accountability. Hell, we still know some of these people (in our 50s now), and they are still screwing up their lives. They never really grew up, and it shows.

So, we didn’t want that to happen to our children. They had chores, jobs, and contributions to make to the household. Sure, there were times they needed some additional financial help. It’s getting harder and harder to get by in this country as a young person (hell, it’s hard for all of us!). But we never just gave them money. Instead, we gave them interest-free loans, and guess what? They have all paid us back every time.

All of my children have traveled internationally.

• My daughter traveled to France and Iceland.

• My oldest son went to Ghana and is now in Australia.

• My youngest son traveled to Germany, France, Italy, and Japan.

Every single one of them paid for their own trips.

They worked hard, made tough decisions, saved up, and covered it themselves. And because of that, they valued those trips and memories way more than if we had forked over the money for their travels.

Sorry, I tend to brag about my kids. I just think they are amazing young people, and I’m so happy with how they turned out. My wife deserves the credit for that! She’s an amazing mother.

It is tempting

As I mentioned earlier, it is so tempting to give your children everything you didn’t have. I grew up poor, and I watched other kids get stuff I could only dream about. So, when I was finally making good money, it was so tempting to buy everything and cover everything for my children. I didn’t want them to go without, struggle, and feel bad.

But giving into that temptation would have kept them from growing into their full potential as resourceful, hardworking, and responsible young adults.

You don’t have to look far to see what happens when wealthy families spoil their children. I don’t even think it requires wealth, per se. Some people go into crazy debt to give their kids everything.

However, it never seems to turn out well…

I go into more detail in this podcast episode. So, scroll up, hit play, and check it out!

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

I find myself getting rid of more and more stuff. I keep walking into the closets and rooms we have already decluttered and organized just to enjoy the way they look and feel now.

Another nice bonus? I’m rediscovering things I had forgotten or thought I had lost. Clothing, games, books, equipment, tools, etc.

It’s crazy. We already downsized a lot when we moved here 10 years ago from a larger house. But we still have too much stuff.

So, the “death cleaning” mindset helps. Do we want our kids to be forced to deal with this stuff after we’re gone? Nope.

Do we really need all these things? Also nope.

For us, the more minimal our lives become, the better we feel. The less we have to deal with, the more we buy back our precious time and mental bandwidth to make room for more valuable things in our lives.

In the book The High Price of Materialism by Tim Kasser (a psychologist), he explores how materialism and consumerism negatively affect our quality of life, our everyday happiness, and our psychological health. People with the goal of accumulating more and more wealth and material possessions face greater unhappiness, anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.

It’s an important lesson for Americans in particular. From the day we are born, our capitalist society bombards us with messages about being a good little consumer who needs to buy more stuff to feel complete.

• You need to work harder and make more money!

• Why? So you can buy more stuff to show how successful you are.

• You've gotta keep up with the Joneses, or you’ll end up at the bottom of the neighborhood heap.

• You must buy all this crap to look better, look younger, feel better, and boost your status.

• Uh oh, is your house getting crowded with your profusion of possessions? No problem, rent a storage unit. Better yet, buy a bigger house! Or a second house!!!

We’re told that playing this game will make us feel successful and happy. But the research does not support that. Sadly, it just makes us feel worse about ourselves and our lives. Tragically, we think buying even more will fix it, but we just end up digging a deeper hole.

The only way out is to reject all this nonsense and chart your own course. And that begins with stepping away from the shopping cart and decluttering your home to give yourself physical and psychological breathing room.

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Some advice from an elder

My wife has been trying to talk me into this decluttering process for years. But I was always “busy.” Spending my weekend cleaning felt like the last thing I wanted to do.

I was wrong! It feels so good to get rid of old stuff you no longer need. I only wish I had listened to her sooner. I feel like I’m learning many lessons from all of this, so I’ll share a few.

Take photos for the memories

If you’re like me, some objects trigger memories. That’s one reason I have trouble getting rid of possessions sometimes. It might be a gift from someone I love. I might remind me of playing with my children. Or, it might bring back memories of a wonderful vacation.

Now, I keep very few things and take photos of things that bring back happy memories. I don’t need the physical object, but I do enjoy remembering what the view of that object means to me.

Shred it when you get it

Ugh, we have so many boxes of paperwork from our work and lives. Some stuff can be tossed straight into paper recycling. But we have boxes of documents with confidential information that we need to shred before we can dispose of them.

Now, I keep a shredder near our incoming mail. We are trying to handle each piece of mail only once. Either it is something we need to deal with (e.g., pay a bill) or a document we can recycle or shred immediately. It’s so much easier to shred one or two documents at a time versus an entire box!

Eliminate paper if you can

Speaking of bills and confidential documents, we have been transitioning to paperless billing for years. That helps a lot! Most companies offer paperless billing, which you can specify in your account preferences (online or over the phone).

I’ve also started sorting mail as I walk back to our house. By the time I reach our driveway, I have a stack of junk mail and unwanted paper that I can toss into our recycling bin. Clutter can’t win if it doesn’t even make it inside!

Wipe old devices immediately

This issue is so painful for me since I worked in tech for over 20 years. I have a ton of computers, phones, electronics, and other devices. Don’t even get me started about all the old cables, wires, and connectors!

I have a habit of upgrading and keeping the previous device for backup or travel. That means I keep all the old cables and connectors for that device, too. Unfortunately, I’m not great about getting rid of that old backup device when I upgrade again.

So, now I have some old computers, hard drives, game consoles, etc. that I can’t boot up to wipe and reset. To add insult to injury, it is really hard to get rid of old electronics here since they are treated like hazardous waste and our local donation centers are overflowing with them (maybe that’s a California thing due to all the tech folks here?).

Therefore, I highly recommend being good about wiping devices and donating or selling them while they still work and have value. Learn from my mistakes!

Throw pain away

Some of the stuff I’m cleaning up is bringing up bad memories from my past. I guess I tossed stuff into a box when we moved and thought I’d deal with it later. Well, now it’s later.

If something makes you feel sad or angry when you see it, toss it! I won’t go into the details, but I have some books, paperwork, gifts, etc. that make me unhappy when I remember a person involved, the situation, or what it represents. I’m being ruthless now about throwing those things into the recycling, donate, and trash boxes.

Give stuff to your children

We have some things that I think our children will value—if not now, in the future when they become parents with children of their own. We’ve been holding onto baby clothes, toys, books, games, etc. for almost 30 years! It’s time to let them go.

We take photos of those items and send them to our children so they can claim them before we donate or sell them. The clutter in our house is doing us no favors. Plus, it sometimes makes me sad to see those things and realize that time went by all too quickly. My babies are all grown adults now.

Wear it or forget it

I probably donated about 50% of my clothing about a month ago. I pulled everything out of my closet and dressers and put it all on my bed to review and try on.

I was ruthless! If I hadn’t worn something in years, it went into the donate box. If the clothing was from my past life (e.g., lots of suits for business travel), I accepted I am no longer that person and no longer need those clothes. Into the donate box.

Also, I counted out the number of socks, t-shirts, pants, shorts, etc. and asked myself, “How many of these do I really need since I can easily do laundry?” For example, I don’t need a two-month supply of socks! Two to three weeks’ worth is just fine.

A fun side effect of reducing my clothing is being able to see my options more easily now. I organized my closet and dresser by color, season, and style. I discovered clothes I had entirely forgotten about and started wearing them again. Walking into our newly organized closet puts a smile on my face.

The benefits

The obvious benefit is having a tidier home with less of the stuff you don’t need cluttering your daily life. Also, if you’re a parent, you are doing your children a big favor. We have experienced what it is like to clean up a home after someone passes away. It’s so overwhelming and sad. You don’t want your loved ones dealing with that after you are gone.

However, another benefit was mood improvement. I had no idea how much stress all of this was creating. Now I find myself walking into our decluttered rooms just for the joy of seeing the results. It seriously makes me happy! And my stress levels have dropped.

I’m discovering that daily life is becoming easier and more efficient, too. I’m creating a place for everything and putting everything in its place with better labeling and organization. No more searching every room and digging through closets and boxes to find that one thing I’m so certain must be there! It’s a huge timesaver and frustration reducer.

Your environment affects you in obvious and subtle ways. Clutter makes us feel stressed and unhappy, even if we don’t realize that’s what is causing it. You only notice it once you make a big change.

Now, the challenge will be to maintain this improved situation. We have already created a rule that something must go if we want something new to come into the house.

• If we want to buy a new board game, we must donate an old game.

• If someone wants new running shoes, an old pair must leave.

• A new book comes in, so an old book goes out.

• When we buy a new pan, we take an old one to the thrift store.

Supposedly, some people find the concept of “death cleaning” to be morbid. I don’t see it that way. There’s nothing wrong with being aware of your mortality and living your life to its fullest with that knowledge reminding you that the clock is ticking. And improving your daily life in your home is a great way to enjoy your life more now.

What strategies do you use to reduce clutter in your life? I would love to hear about in the comments!

Leave a comment

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

“Tim Sparks, the president of Daland Corporation, is converting some of the over 80 Pizza Huts the company operates back to their old-school versions, down to the red plastic cups and Tiffany-style lamps.”

For the first time in my long life, I’m witnessing more and more people rejecting the so-called march of progress. They are aching to return to a simpler, sweeter world.

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I grew up in a time—the 70s and 80s—when we fantasized about the wonderful future that technology would enable. As a child, I sat in the library for hours, devouring books and magazines that painted a rosy picture of this ideal future. Popular Science and Popular Mechanics loved to do this.

The old sci-fi books I enjoyed reading also described a tech-powered utopia.

• We were all going to own home robots.

• Flying cars would take us to work on autopilot.

• Diseases would be a thing of the past.

• Aging would be “cured” so we could live forever.

• We would explore the stars and colonize new planets.

This love affair with progress and technology continued for decades. But lately, it feels like the relationship has soured. We realized that corporations (and even our government) had no interest in actually improving our lives. Instead, they made false promises, enshittifed everything, and found devious ways to extract even more value from us in an increasingly destructive relationship with consumers.

• We no longer own our books, movies, music, or software.

• We can no longer modify or repair our own vehicles.

• Our printers lock and shut down if we don’t subscribe to their ink service.

• Websites and apps monitor our every click, choice, and move.

• Corporations harvest our data and sell us to the highest bidders.

• Cameras everywhere track us and feed us into AI surveillance.

It isn’t like the experience gets much better when we leave our homes, step away from our computers, and put our phones in our pockets. We are overwhelmed with too many choices, too much chaos, and too little value.

Is it any wonder that even more people are anxious, overstimulated, and depressed today? Why are we surprised that young people are spiraling down when they can’t find good employment or afford to buy homes, get married, or have children?

The rising backlash against AI, the billionaire class, and mega-corporations shouldn’t be a shock, either. We have all had enough. We are reaching a boiling point.

There is a longing for simpler times, less complexity, and reduced stress. Even people who don’t usually complain about technology and the overwhelming paradox of choice seem to be drawn to options that evoke nostalgia and childhood joy.

• People are driving for hours to eat at these fun Pizza Hut locations.

• Mercedes announced the return of physical buttons.

• Gen Z is making shopping malls cool again.

What is it that makes this so attractive? Why are we drawn to experiences from the past?

I don’t think it’s because these things are inherently “better,” although more quality for lower prices and actually owning our products again would indeed be better. I think it’s because they represent “less.”

• No hidden agendas

• Less complexity

• Fewer choices

• Less stress

It feels like we got on a runaway train and have no control over where it is taking us. Humans were never meant to be faced with this much information overload, corporate manipulation, nonstop news and media, gadgets demanding our attention, and infinite choices.

So, what can we do?

We don’t control the corporations. Apparently, we don’t have much influence over our local, state, and federal governments, either (e.g., you’re going to get new electricity-draining, water-sucking AI data centers whether or not you like it!).

However, we can decide where we invest our time and money.

We can choose simplicity over complexity. We can refuse to give them more and more of our time and attention. We can retreat from this insane parade of false progress and create simpler lives for ourselves.

1. Unplug

2. Step away

3. Stop buying

4. Embrace real relationships

5. Recenter yourself in the real world

This is why my wife and I keep downsizing and simplifying our lives. We know what is most important to us: our children, our relationships, and our health and happiness. None of the corporate-fueled nonsense matters, and we refuse to let ourselves be manipulated by it.

We make time every week to leave the grid, disappear into the forest, and go for long hikes to reconnect with nature. It’s good for our health, our marriage, and our souls.

Stop feeding the corporate monsters that profit from complexity, control, and abuse. Don’t let them force you into playing their manipulative games. Vote with your time and money to explore simpler solutions and experiences. It’s better for your wallet and your well-being.

The more you step away from the chaos, noise, and consumerism, the more you will see your stress and anxiety decrease.

By the way, you can always schedule a free call with me to discuss how to get more of the life you deserve. There is a better path forward.

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Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

I was feeling this way today, so I recorded a video to talk about it this morning.

• I’m feeling that familiar “10-year itch.”

• Conquering a challenge can create restlessness.

• I know many other people don’t operate this way (am I weird?).

• Do you ever sense when your current “ride” is coming to an end?

• However, feeling this impulse doesn’t mean you have to be reckless about it.

Reinventing yourself doesn’t have to feel like a crisis. I think it’s a normal recurring cycle (in my case, every 10 years). You start to recognize when your current path has run its course. You realize you have extracted as much value as you can from it, and you know you’re no longer growing or feeling excited about it.

It takes courage to recognize when this happens and create a plan to pursue the next phase of your life (sometimes before you are forced to!). If you don’t, you may start feeling trapped, frustrated, and miserable. I’ve been there before, and many of my coaching clients have been there, too.

If you embrace this feeling and create a plan first, it doesn’t have to feel like a moment of panic and chaos.

It can become your next exciting adventure!

If you’re feeling this way too, you can schedule a free call with me to chat about it and the plans you are considering.

Book Your Free Call

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”
Alice Walker

I was talking with a young parent recently. They were lamenting the fact that their child had entered the “terrible twos” and was becoming stubborn and challenging.

I reassured them that this would pass, but I also told them this was a good and necessary developmental phase. I said, “Everything that makes this more challenging for you will help them become stronger, more empowered adults. Even though it is hard now, you will be glad later.”

On the flip side, every time you teach your child that they dare not question authority (e.g., you, teachers, coaches, priests, politicians, police), you make them more susceptible to control and abuse later in life.

If you punish them for being independent and challenging you, they will learn to give up. They will bow down to stronger people who want to bend them to their will later.

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My life experiences

I was a lucky child. I grew up in a loving home, and my parents encouraged my independence and curiosity. They also taught me that I would not be punished if I told the truth. If I did something wrong and informed them about it first, we worked together to fix the problem.

I remember when I accidentally broke a neighbor’s window and went home to tell my father about it immediately. I was so scared that he would be angry and punish me. But he was not, and he did not. Together, we returned to the neighbor’s house, and he asked me to tell the man what had happened. I agreed to pay for the repair (I earned some money from my paper route and mowing lawns), and that was that.

That experience left an impression on me I never forgot.

I’m not saying that they didn’t discipline me or punish me sometimes. Yes, that happened. But they gave me the gift of trusting me, believing in me, and supporting me. My parents also taught me that I should not blindly obey authority figures. They did not believe that wealth, positional authority, or power meant that someone was better than others. They taught me to be proud, hardworking, and confident, even though I grew up poor.

I can remember more than one occasion when my parents locked horns with teachers, principals, superintendents, coaches, police officers, and even the wealthy people in our town (who thought they were better than everyone else). I watched my parents believe my word, stand up for me, argue with these people, and win those arguments.

All of this made me feel empowered, willing to fight for myself, and driven to get what I wanted out of life. Yes, I often reported to bosses during my career, but I refused to be deferential to them. I never could stand observing obsequious behavior at work, and I sure as hell would not be that way myself.

I know my pride got me into trouble a few times (e.g., cursing back at a CEO who thought they could get away with shouting and cursing at me), but I didn’t care. I would rather walk away from a job than kiss someone’s ass. Eventually, I grew weary of the corporate politics, chose self-employment, and left that world forever.

Unlike some of my childhood friends, my parents didn’t beat my willful independence out of me. I am forever grateful for that, and I remembered that lesson later in life when I became a parent.

Yes, it is hard

Of course there were moments when our children drove us crazy. They could be headstrong and challenging. They questioned us and asked for justifications for many of the things we requested they do (e.g., eating their dinner, brushing their teeth, wearing a seatbelt, going to bed).

That’s a normal human being discovering their young independence and power.

The worst thing you can do is punish them for being strong and confident. The weakest thing you can do is say, “Because I told you so!” The most damaging thing you can do is beat their independence out of them.

I distinctly remember my wife and I talking about this one day, many years ago when our children were toddlers. We literally said, “Yes, this is making our life harder. But wow, I admire their fierce spirit! If we crush this now, someone else will find it easier to control them later.”

Of course, that didn’t mean we let them run wild and control the household. But it did mean that we took the time to explain the “why” behind our requests and things we expected them to do.

Did they always like it? Of course not.

We also looked for opportunities for them to feel in control and exert their young power.

• Asking them to make choices and decisions.

• Letting them say “No” to some things.

• Letting them push back when it made sense.

• Respecting their autonomy.

Now, our children are in their 20s, and we are so proud of the adults they have become. They are confident, willing to go after what they want, able to push back on bosses, and not afraid to ask for what they need from partners. They don’t put up with any crap, and I’m so happy to see how strong they have become.

All is not lost

Even if something happened in life to damage your sense of control and empowerment, you can regain it. There are steps you can take to rebuild your power and confidence.

And there are things you can do to sustain your empowerment and let no one take it away again.

Want to talk with me about investing in your personal empowerment? You can always schedule a complimentary call.

Book Your Free Call

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve tested this path to freedom so you don’t have to.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

The worst leaders confuse fear and respect.

They use the authority of their position, threats, and intimidation to control others. Subordinates only put up w…

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During my hike through the forest this weekend, I recorded some thoughts about empowerment and what it means for each decade of your life. The video is embedded below.

Some people may find it odd that I simultaneously coach my clients on how to get ahead in their careers, how to exit the 9-to-5 grind to enjoy self-employment, and how to live a more empowered life.

However, I see an overall arc to our lives from our 20s to our final years that includes:

1. Getting your advanced education.

2. Leveraging traditional employment.

3. Exiting to the freedom of a lifestyle business.

4. Maximizing your enjoyment of your final years on this planet.

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It all centers on empowerment

My empowerment strategy lets you squeeze the most out of your earning years and the most life out of your later years.

• Empowered people have more career opportunities than most others.

• Empowered people feel confident and courageous in their jobs.

• Empowered people demand what they deserve from their working lives.

• Empowered people create a path to greater freedom and fulfillment.

• Empowered people get more of what they want out of life.

• Empowered people live larger and refuse to settle for less.

Summary of what I share in the video

1. The Unifying Thread of Empowerment

   1. Career coaching and self-employment coaching may seem contradictory, but they share one goal: putting you in the driver’s seat of your working life, whether that’s climbing the ladder or creating your own path.

2. From Invincible to Empowered

   1. My business branding is evolving.

   2. It’s less about feeling invincible and more about being so skilled, visible, and respected that you become more empowered.

   3. You become an opportunity magnet (I’ve talked a lot about this before).

3. Power Means You Can Walk Away

   1. When you’re truly empowered, you stop tolerating bad bosses, terrible relationships, toxic environments, and unreasonable demands.

   2. During my long career, I have watched talented people push back and win because employers couldn’t afford to lose them.

4. The Value of Inside Champions

   1. Throughout my career, former colleagues and advocates pulled me into companies and made the interview processes almost effortless.

   2. That kind of network doesn’t happen by accident.

   3. You have to earn it, expand it, and nurture it.

5. You Will Have Peak Earning Years

   1. Research shows earning potential peaks and then declines.

   2. Senior roles become scarce, and age discrimination is real (especially in tech).

   3. You need to maximize your earnings while this brief window is open.

6. Same Hours, Very Different Pay

   1. Would you rather earn $100K or $300K for the same eight hours/day?

   2. Push hard for what you deserve.

   3. Do not tolerate a one-way relationship with your employer. Get as much as you give.

7. Bank It, Don’t Burn It

   1. Live leaner during your highest-earning years.

   2. Invest aggressively, create a financial safety cushion, and start working on self-employment plans.

   3. You’re buying your future freedom.

8. Your 20s Are for Foundation Building

   1. Get educated

   2. Find your people, make good friends, discover love, and find your life partner.

   3. Start figuring out your professional path.

   4. Enjoy this time! Don’t rush the exploration phase.

9. Your 30s and 40s Are Peak Earning Decades

   1. This is your primary earning window.

   2. Push hard, climb fast, and earn maximum value for your efforts.

   3. Build your network (it’s one of your most valuable resources).

   4. Quietly line up your self-employment plan and runway, so you can flip that freedom switch earlier than most do.

10. Your 50s+ Are for Living Large

    1. Transition into self-employment that leverages your expertise and everything you already know.

    2. Work when you want, where you want, and how you want.

    3. Play a lot! I’m so glad I took the self-employment path and semi-retired early so I can enjoy my freedom and as much time as possible with the people I love.

    4. Take care of your health and enjoy the last half of your life while you still can.

    5. Life is short! Don’t save your bucket list for a decade where you can’t physically cross items off anymore.

What are your thoughts on this? Leave a comment if you have a question. Schedule a free call with me if you’d like to discuss your unique situation and brainstorm some ideas for getting more of what you want out of your life.

Book a Free Call

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve tested this path to freedom so you don’t have to.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

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If our average life expectancy is 79 (U.S. data), then we need to stop thinking about the second half of life the way we do.

You are past the midpoint at 40 (and have already peaked physically in your 30s). The wild ride has hit its apex, and you’re coasting down to the end of the line.

Yet, we act as if the ride will last forever and waste so much of our…

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How much have you changed throughout your life?

I’m not the same person I was in my 20s. Heck, I’m not even the same person I was several years ago.

I’ve noticed that my life seems to change about every 10 years.

• The world changes.

• What I want for my life changes.

• And I pivot, adapt, and grow.

I used to think that was strange. Why couldn’t I choose a pa…

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We’ve never felt unsafe in Mexico before, but we had a few unsettling days on our recent trip to Puerto Vallarta to celebrate our 35th anniversary.

On Sunday, February 22nd, the cartel leader, “El Mencho,” was killed during a military operation in the western state of Jalisco in Mexico. Around 8:30 AM, we were sitting on a balcony enjoying our coffee when we noticed a plume of black smoke rising above the apartment building across from us.

There were several people on their balconies in that building, so we asked if they knew where the smoke was coming from. One man said, “Yeah, there’s a bus on fire on the next street.”

Hmmm… okay. So, why were more people on other balconies staring and pointing in the other direction behind our building?

I told my wife that I was going up to the roof to get a better view of the city and find out what was going on. When I reached the rooftop, two stories above our place, there were a few people already there looking around. I noticed multiple columns of dark smoke rising from the surrounding streets, behind other buildings, and across the entire city in the distance.

“Uh oh,” I said to the man standing next to me. “This is intentional. These fires are no accident.”

No one on the roof knew what was behind the fires, so I went down to the ground floor to talk with the lady behind the front desk in the lobby. When I asked about the fires, she seemed surprised and said, “No se.” She didn’t know.

I returned to our apartment to let my wife know what I had seen, and we began searching global news sites, local sites, and other sources. At this point, I was worried that this might be violence targeting tourists, since it seemed concentrated in our neighborhood, which is a region of the city densely populated with expats and tourists. We could find nothing about it until we came across a few posts on social media (either Reddit or Threads) that said it was the cartel retaliating against the federal government for the death of their leader.

Slowly, the information began trickling through the news outlets. More videos and photos were being shared on social media, too. It was indeed cartel violence, and they were setting vehicles on fire to block the streets and highway in Puerto Vallarta (mostly buses, taxis, and a few other vehicles). They also set fire to several businesses, primarily focusing on OXXO convenience stores. We read that this was also happening all over Jalisco. Guadalajara

From the videos shared and news reports, it was clear the cartel was not targeting civilians. You could see them calmly escorting people out of their vehicles before setting them on fire. Despite the chaos and destruction, no civilians were injured or killed. Sadly, several national guardsmen lost their lives in the military operation and during the violence afterward.

It may seem like a strange response, but I calmed down a lot once I knew it was the cartel retaliating against the federal government. They were not targeting us. Of course, we still felt incredibly worried as we watched fires burning all over the city and new fires springing up nearby. But we knew we should be relatively safe if we stayed inside the building and out of the way of the cartel members.

My 15 mins of fame on the Chicago News (starting around 20:40). 😂

For the next two days, the city was pretty much in lockdown. One strange thing we noticed during this time, when the cartel was actively roaming the streets: there was no police or military presence at all. None. They didn’t show up until it was all over. And show up they did, with a vengeance. 🤣

• Police vehicles drove by with lights flashing about every 60 seconds.

• Military vehicles with mounted machine guns and loaded with armed soldiers showed up all over the neighborhoods.

• Military helicopters flew overhead and circled our building.

So, will we return to Mexico?

Will we feel safe traveling the world now, or are we too traumatized?

⬆️ Scroll up, hit play, and listen to what I think about all of this. Hint: Be smart and be prepared, but don’t be afraid.

Schedule a complimentary call with me, and let’s chat about you and your life!

Book a Free Call with Me

I’m Larry Cornett, Ph.D., an Empowerment Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate! 📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals.

I set up a ☕️ Buy Me a Coffee to let folks help support my newsletter and podcast without an ongoing financial commitment. I’m a solopreneur, and coaching and writing are how I provide for my family. Thanks for your help!

Buy Me a Coffee

We just spent two weeks in Mexico in an apartment in Puerto Vallarta. I can confirm what the article below references. No, you cannot flush toilet paper.

The local plumbing rarely supports it. Instead, they usually provide a small trash can in the bathroom for the used paper. You can read the article to learn why this is the case, but I recommend the so…

Read more

We recently celebrated our 35th anniversary in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, before things went crazy with the cartel retaliation. We’ll certainly never forget this one!

Our return flight was canceled, and the PVR airport wasn’t really operating, so it took quite some time to rebook amidst all the chaos and eventually get back home. We had to play it day by day, which ended up almost doubling our stay in Mexico.

We were right in the middle of the pandemonium in the Zona Romantica, with fires all around us and throughout the city. The first two days were pretty rough (e.g., no food), but we discovered we weren’t the target. I’ll share more of that story in an upcoming podcast episode.

I am worried about the local economy there and the impact all of this will have on jobs and tourism revenue. It’s going to be hard for Mexican citizens as the ripple effects are felt throughout the year.

We still love Puerto Vallarta, and I’m sure we will be back. It’s a resilient city full of wonderful people.

As we walked down a street one day, a man stopped us to ask how long we had been married. Then he asked what our secret was to a long marriage.

I share more of that story and why I think our marriage has lasted in the video above.

Schedule a complimentary call with me if you ever want to chat about your pursuit of life, love, and happiness.

Book a Free Call with Me

I’m Larry Cornett, Ph.D., an Empowerment Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate! 📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals.

I set up a ☕️ Buy Me a Coffee to let folks help support my newsletter and podcast without an ongoing financial commitment. I’m a solopreneur, and coaching and writing are how I provide for my family. Thanks for your help!

Buy Me a Coffee

I’ll explain more in a longer podcast episode next week. From now on, I’m going to be sharing more of my journey as I practice what I preach and continue to do my best to live an Invincible Life.

Long story short, I won’t be promoting the Invincible Life Guide here anymore.

Play the video above for more details. I’m heading off to Mexico for vacation, so I’ll see you when I return!

Schedule a complimentary call with me if you ever want to chat about your pursuit of life, love, and happiness.

Book a Free Call with Me

I’m Larry Cornett, Ph.D., an Empowerment Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate! 📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals.

I set up a ☕️ Buy Me a Coffee to let folks help support my newsletter and podcast without an ongoing financial commitment. I’m a solopreneur, and coaching and writing are how I provide for my family. Thanks for your help!

Buy Me a Coffee

Grab the content of this week’s update so you can paste it into your copy of the Invincible Life Guide. It’s about the gap between where you are today and where you want to be by the end of this year (your life goals for 2026).

Get the Update

The Invincible Life Guide for 2026

I created the companion guide to provide additional structure for the weekly emails I will share with you this year. If you haven’t grabbed your copy yet, use the button below to access and save it.

It’s in Google Slides format, so you can save a copy of the presentation to your own Google Drive in your preferred folder. This will allow you to edit the placeholder text to enter your answers to the questions in the guide.

Get the Guide

How to use the guide

• Every month this year will have a specific theme.

• Each week will have a set of homework questions related to that month’s theme.

• I will share a new presentation document with that week’s questions via the newsletter email and in my private community.

• Then download the new presentation, copy and paste the new slides into your editable copy of the guide, and use it to answer the questions.

I have already included all the slides and questions for January (i.e., Your Goals) in the guide. New slides will come each month. Stay tuned for more emails about those.

Themes this year

1. Your Goals

2. The Blockers (February)

3. Your Toolbox

4. Strategy & Plan

5. Making Progress

6. Becoming Invincible

7. Your Network

8. Targeting

9. Broadcasting

10. Systems

11. Resources

12. Evaluation

Schedule a complimentary call with me if you have questions about the guide and how to use it effectively.

Book a Free Call with Me

I’m Larry Cornett, Ph.D., an Empowerment Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate! 📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals.

I set up a ☕️ Buy Me a Coffee to let folks help support my newsletter and podcast without an ongoing financial commitment. I’m a solopreneur, and coaching and writing are how I provide for my family. Thanks for your help!

Buy Me a Coffee

What stands between you and what you want most for your life this year?

That’s the theme for February in The Invincible Life Guide for 2026. I explain it in more detail in the video above.

You can also check out my January post about setting goals for yourself this year (and why it matters), if you haven’t read it already.

Grab the content of this week’s update so you can paste it into your copy of the Invincible Life Guide.

Get the Update

The Invincible Life Guide for 2026

I created the companion guide to provide additional structure for the weekly emails I will share with you this year. If you haven’t grabbed your copy yet, use the button below to access and save it.

It’s in Google Slides format, so you can save a copy of the presentation to your own Google Drive in your preferred folder. This will allow you to edit the placeholder text to enter your answers to the questions in the guide.

Get the Guide

How to use the guide

• Every month this year will have a specific theme.

• Each week will have a set of homework questions related to that month’s theme.

• I will share a new presentation document with that week’s questions via the newsletter email and in my private community.

• Then download the new presentation, copy and paste the new slides into your editable copy of the guide, and use it to answer the questions.

I have already included all the slides and questions for January (i.e., Your Goals) in the guide. New slides will come each month. Stay tuned for more emails about those.

Themes this year

1. Your Goals

2. The Blockers (February)

3. Your Toolbox

4. Strategy & Plan

5. Making Progress

6. Becoming Invincible

7. Your Network

8. Targeting

9. Broadcasting

10. Systems

11. Resources

12. Evaluation

Schedule a complimentary call with me if you have questions about the guide and how to use it effectively.

Book a Free Call with Me

I’m Larry Cornett, Ph.D., an Empowerment Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate! 📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals.

I set up a ☕️ Buy Me a Coffee to let folks help support my newsletter and podcast without an ongoing financial commitment. I’m a solopreneur, and coaching and writing are how I provide for my family. Thanks for your help!

Buy Me a Coffee

My goal with this newsletter and podcast has always been to help you become more invincible in your life. But what do I mean by that?

Basically, that means having the confidence, courage, and means to work and live your life the way you want. To be free of someone else—or something else—controlling you, owning your time, and deciding how and where you spend your days.

I’ve written about the concept of an “Invincible Life” before and how it can apply to your personal life, your career, and your solopreneur business. The book I’ve written, and am now in the process of editing, is all about how to become more invincible in your life. I boiled it down to the principles listed below, and the book's chapters go into much more detail on that process and journey.

The 10 Principles of an Invincible Life

1. Live where you will enjoy your quality of life

2. Work where you want to spend those hours

3. Become known for what you believe and do

4. Transform your work and life to be meaningful

5. Take control of how you work and live your life

6. Own your time to control when you work and play

7. Spend time with people who bring out your best

8. Find fulfillment by creating, helping, and improving

9. Free yourself to never again feel trapped

10. Empower yourself and never again feel vulnerable

The companion guide

I created a brief companion guide to provide additional structure for the weekly emails I will share with you this year. It’s in Google Slides format, so you can save a copy of the presentation to your own Google Drive in your preferred folder. This will allow you to edit the placeholder text to enter your answers to the questions in the guide.

Get the Guide

How to use the guide

• Every month this year will have a specific theme.

• Each week will have a set of homework questions related to that month’s theme.

• I will share a new presentation document with that week’s questions via the newsletter email and in my private community.

• Then download the new presentation, copy and paste the new slides into your editable copy of the guide, and use it to answer the questions.

I have already included all the slides and questions for January (i.e., Your Goals) in the guide. New slides will come each month this year. So, stay tuned for the emails about those!

Themes this year

1. Your Goals

2. The Blockers

3. Your Toolbox

4. Strategy & Plan

5. Making Progress

6. Becoming Invincible

7. Your Network

8. Targeting

9. Broadcasting

10. Systems

11. Resources

12. Evaluation

⬆️ Scroll up and hit play to listen to my full explanation of how to use the Invincible Life Guide this year.

Schedule a complimentary call with me if you have questions about the guide and how to use it effectively.

Book a Free Call with Me

I’m Larry Cornett, Ph.D., an Empowerment Coach who works with ambitious professionals to help them reclaim their power, become more invincible, and create better opportunities for their work and lives. Do more of what you love and less of what you hate! 📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals.

I set up a ☕️ Buy Me a Coffee to let folks help support my newsletter and podcast without an ongoing financial commitment. I’m a solopreneur, and coaching and writing are how I provide for my family. Thanks for your help!

Buy Me a Coffee

Sometimes, experiences are richer when shared with someone else. However, there are times—believe it or not—when an experience is better solo.

But, the worst experiences, hands down, are the ones you avoid because you don’t think you deserve them or feel silly doing them alone.

I can still remember the first time I:

• Watched a movie in a theater alone.

• T…

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