Sure, we’ve taken many road trips over the past decades, but they were with our children. So, those trips weren’t really a great opportunity to spend time with my wife or explore this country the way you do as a grown adult. We had a lot of fun with our children, and I'm so glad we traveled like that with them. But the experience is very different when it is just the two of you.

We have an empty nest now. All our children have jobs, significant others, and busy lives. We visit each other often, and we still take the occasional vacation together (e.g., vacations in Mexico, Alaska, etc.). Those trips are very much “destination travel.” We travel point to point and want to minimize the flight time.

Destination vacations are all about reaching your final destination and having adventures there. We set up a “base camp” (e.g., renting a house) and plan our daily outings for that area (e.g., backpacking, hikes, snorkeling, museums, art galleries, amazing restaurants).

Journey vacations are quite different. There is no single destination we are trying to reach as quickly as possible. Instead, we see the travel itself as the adventure. We don’t need to rush things! We can stop when we see something interesting and spend time exploring. Also, we plan a route that lets us meander through a series of stops along the way to visit family. We’ll stay a couple of days with each family member and have enough time to really catch up and do things together.

My youngest son recently took a journey vacation with his girlfriend, too. They drove up the coast to explore Northern California, Oregon, and Washington. They made several stops along the way to hike, see the sights, and have some fun experiences. They also set up in hotels in various cities and had time for exploring there, too.

We both rented cars for our trips. The savings from driving more fuel-efficient vehicles literally covered the cost of the rentals. In addition, we avoided the wear and tear on our personal vehicles that comes with thousands of miles of driving, which is another expense I’m happy to avoid later. Perhaps it isn’t always the case, but the current cost of renting is most definitely lower than what we would have spent on fuel and potential repairs.

The journey vacation experience was quite common when my wife and I were growing up. Our parents took us on trips multiple times a year, but definitely every summer. I have fond memories of that travel, the places we stayed, the food we enjoyed in other states, and visiting family.

It seems like this type of travel is fading away. I rarely hear of my friends going on road trips. This week, we noticed there weren’t many other people on the interstate (i.e., it was mostly large trucks hauling cargo). It seemed strange, and it was kind of sad.

Sure, destination vacations are a blast. But journey vacations are a unique experience, too.

You see more of the countryside, experience the small towns along the way, and can explore cool sights for longer. There are things we have seen and done that would never have happened if we had just hopped on a plane and flown over.

As I mentioned, we’ve also been using this trip to visit friends and family along the way. That simply would not have happened if we had chosen air travel. What would we do? Book a series of small-hop flights from city to city, rent a car multiple times, and deal with the hassle of air travel? No way.

While you’re planning your vacations every year, I hope you consider the concept of journey travel besides your usual destination travel. I know most people see that as some nuisance experience to avoid. But it doesn’t have to be that way. The journey itself can create wonderful memories you would never build otherwise.

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Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

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Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

There’s always some reason they become unhappy with a partner, and it’s always that partner’s fault.

• They didn’t enjoy doing the same things.

• They weren’t adventurous enough.

• They wanted different things in life.

• They complained too much.

• Their sex drive was too low.

• The romance faded.

Here’s the thing. If you’re constantly getting divorced or breaking up with romantic partners and blaming the other person every time, maybe you should take a long, hard look in the mirror and then seek some therapy.

Spoiler alert: You might be the problem.

Keeping romance alive

My wife and I have been married for over 35 years. Magically, we’ve been able to keep the romance alive. Okay… it’s not magic. It’s not a happy accident or luck, either. It has required intentional effort not to take each other for granted and to realize how lucky we are.

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Recently, she was away for over a week doing some ranch sitting and taking care of horses, a dog, a cat, and some chickens, too. Busy lady!

So, I was home alone and missing her like crazy. The other day, I went over for a visit to have some drinks on the patio, play with the dog, and catch up. I surprised her with some cookies I had baked for her and brought a bouquet of flowers.

It’s the little things that help keep our spark alive. Acts of love and care. Surprises. Things we know the other would enjoy. Seeing something, knowing they would like it, and sharing it with them.

I make her coffee every morning and usually make our breakfast, too. She is the dinner chef and makes wonderful meals. Sometimes we cook together.

We also make a point of going on a date every week. This started when our empty nest kicked in. We usually go on hikes. Sometimes we ski. Other times, it’s a day trip somewhere, getting some good sushi, or exploring new places.

In a couple of weeks, we’re going on our first cross-country road trip as a couple in almost 30 years! We took our children on lots of trips like that (e.g., visiting family, camping, etc.). But it’s been a long time since it’s just been the two of us in a car for days and days. I think it’s going to be a lot of fun!

Marry again?

As we get older, we sometimes talk about what we would do if something happened to one of us. We have a few friends and neighbors who have lost a long-term partner. They never remarried. We also know some people who lost a partner and remarried within a year. We know which path we would choose.

I’ll speak for myself. If I lost my wife, I would never get married again. I can’t imagine trying to introduce a new person into my life. Having someone new in my home? No thanks! I’m okay with having friends and doing things with other people, but the kind of long-term intimacy and friendship I’ve had with my wife could never exist again. I know that, and I would never dream of even trying.

The secret to a lasting relationship and the romance in that relationship is that you build it together. You construct it as a collaborative partnership. There is no magical person who magically sparks romance for you. It is in the effort itself!

So, when people expect romance and long-term love to be effortless when it’s “just right,” they are fooling themselves. When they think they can find true love if they can just find the right person, they are fooling themselves. Love is created, not found. Romance is an active process, not something that passively bubbles up.

It’s sad that people don’t think love, relationships, and romance should be work. Of course they are work! Humans are complex creatures. We experience joy and sadness, happiness and depression, peace and anxiety, love and hate. It is definitely work to ride those ups and downs as a couple. But the reward for that effort is so worth it!

My wife has known me for over 36 years. We’ve been through everything together. She is absolutely my best friend, and she knows me better than any other human being on the planet. My wife has seen me at my best and my worst, and she is still here! She has stuck by me as friends and family members come and go. We are the one stable thing in each other’s lives.

Why would you ever give up on the joy of having a lifelong friend, love, and partner like that? You don’t. So, put in the work!

If you ever want a confidential sounding board, I’m here for you. Book a free call anytime!

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Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

Now, this is the calendar of a full-time writer, of course. Those of us who don’t make a living from our writing need a different schedule and strategy. We have that annoying thing that takes up most of our calendar’s time: a job. Or, in my case, a business or two.

If you’re like me, you have dreamed of writing a book one day, but have never quite reached the finish line. Even though I’ve been an avid reader for my entire life, I have never published what I would call a real book (I don’t think my daily journals count). I always wanted to, and I have several notebooks (physical and virtual) full of story ideas, drafts, and notes. But taking a proper book all the way has felt out of reach.

I’m getting older now, so I know my time is running out. That’s why I came up with a new strategy a few years ago, which helped me finish the first draft of my book. Now, I’m in the editing phase and finding out that this is even harder than writing that first draft! But I’m chipping away at it and making some changes and additions, because the world has changed a lot over the past couple of years, and I have changed, too.

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Regardless, the strategy worked! It forced me to write consistently and get that draft done. I know some of you dream of writing a book one day, too. So, I want to share what I’ve learned and some tools I use.

Creating the book outline

I have been exploring writing both fiction and nonfiction books. Years ago, I decided to focus on a nonfiction book about becoming empowered in your life and career. I had been taking notes for this book for a few years. I had also been writing related articles on Medium and Substack.

I had a general idea of the overall structure of the book, but I hadn’t formalized it. Well, one day I took a large paper sketchpad with me to the outdoor patio of a local business. I sat down for the afternoon and forced myself to outline the book chapters, including some key bullet points about the content of each chapter.

I started with a flow diagram of the arc of the book, sketching with pencil. I erased and changed the flow as I thought it all through. Then, once I liked the overall arc, I started on the outline. Agan, using pencil and paper made the process much faster than fiddling with digital tools (e.g., apps on my laptop or phone). It was so easy to sketch, jot down notes, erase, and modify with the flick of my pencil.

Once I was happy with that outline, I used my markdown app, Ulysses, to put that structure into a dedicated project folder. That let me set writing goals (e.g., word counts) and add chapter content when I was ready.

My primary writing app

As just mentioned, Ulysses is my primary app for writing stories and books. I selected it because I could install the app on my MacBook, iPad, and iPhone. My content is stored in the cloud, which lets me seamlessly move between all my devices as I work on my stories and chapters. You can read more about other writers who chose Ulysses and why it works for them.

I wanted to write in a markdown app that didn’t use its own proprietary formatting, which rarely transfers well to other publishing tools. Yeah, yeah, I know a lot of people use Microsoft Word. But I’m not a fan, and I wanted clean text to copy and import into many other services (e.g., Substack, Medium) and tools (e.g., Vellum).

The Ulysses editor also lets you set the main writing window to full screen so you can focus without other distractions. I have found it to be quick, and I love that I can pick up writing with any device I have handy.

For example, I always have my iPhone in my pocket. So, if I’m out and about while an idea hits me, I can pull out my phone, open Ulysses, and quickly add new content to a chapter. I don’t have to wait until I get home to access my computer.

Not on iOS?

My friends on Android love Obsidian. It is a great markdown app that works across multiple platforms, including iOS, Android, Mac, Windows, and Linux. I have tried it, and it’s really cool. But I was already used to Ulysses and in that workflow.

Sharing with subscribers

The biggest productivity and consistency boost for my writing came from sharing draft chapters with my subscribers. There’s nothing like a little accountability to others to help you stay committed and on track!

For a couple of years, I would release a draft book chapter to my Substack newsletter subscribers. Knowing that the readers were waiting kept me on schedule. If I missed a week (or was slow publishing a chapter), someone would message me and ask when the next chapter was going to be ready!

This also became a good channel for getting some feedback from people. For example, I would hear if something was confusing or missing context. Then, I could make some edits or add new content to other chapters to help clarify things.

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Bookfunnel for building your list

Bookfunnel is a useful service for authors:

Using Bookfunnel, I set up a page to let people download a sample chapter from my book. This also lets them join my mailing list so I can notify them when the final book is available. I have used the service for some of my fiction books as well.

Vellum for designing your book

Vellum is my favorite app for designing the final layout for my eBooks and print books. It is elegant, easy to use, and the book design is quite lovely! It’s great to see the preview of your book (e.g., ebook or paper book) while you write.

You can create ebooks for every platform (e.g., Kindle, Kobo, Apple Books, etc.). Each specialized file can guide readers to buy your next book in their favorite store. If you have a series, you can combine everything into a box set in just a few steps.

For print books, you choose your trim size, and Vellum does the rest, with an automatic setup of margins, page numbers, and headers and footers. The app handles complex tasks like widow-handling and spread-balancing, giving you a professional result every time you generate a book.

Paper notebooks for quick ideas

I’ll keep beating this drum forever. There is nothing like a paper notebook for quickly capturing ideas and sketching concepts. I am a tech geek, and I use so many digital tools. But none of them are easier or faster than sketching on paper. Not one!

So, every morning I sit with my coffee, take out my journal (yes, I use my own journals!), and capture ideas for my stories, books, and articles. My overall goal is to publish my nonfiction book, so I write a to-do list of what I will work on that day to get closer to that goal.

My overall flow is:

1. Quick daily notes and ideas on paper (e.g., paper notebooks and sketchpads).

2. Using those notes to write draft chapters and articles using Ulysses.

3. Publishing from Ulysses to Substack for my subscribers.

4. Editing again in Ulysses with feedback from readers.

5. Copying from Ulysses to Vellum for final book design and layout work.

6. Publishing a sample chapter on Bookfunnel to sign up readers.

7. Using Vellum to generate and export the final book files for import into services like Amazon and Barnes & Noble (i.e., to start selling the book).

A writing community for support and education

It is risky to put all your eggs in one basket. I have watched some authors fully commit to Amazon, for example, and get screwed over later. That’s why I joined the Wide for the Win community. It is a Facebook group for indie and hybrid authors who are going wide with their books (i.e., not Kindle Unlimited exclusive) and want to find other authors to talk shop with.

I’m not a fan of using Facebook, but that’s where their community is hosted. Publishing and selling books can be a very tricky business. So, it’s super helpful to get advice from authors who have figured things out and found ways to succeed and thrive. Some writers there are making significant money from their books!

So, I recommend joining to learn more about the process of writing and publishing.

Good luck!

I hope some of this helps you on your writing journey. I have written and published a few books on Amazon and Barnes & Noble, so I know how the process works end-to-end. Now, I’m taking that journey again for my “real books.”

Wish me luck, too!

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Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

The sound of electrical sizzling is never a cheerful one! It’s the sound of danger and a future repair project.

Yesterday, I flipped a switch downstairs, and the overhead lights started flickering. Even the hallway lights were misbehaving, and a subtle buzzing sound came from the switch plate on the wall in our old house.

Ugh, that’s never a good thing. ☹️

Then, the lights went out for good. I had already experienced something similar years ago with an old outlet. That time, the faint smell of burning wiring accompanied it. Yikes! I repaired that myself, too.

Here’s the old switch I removed, which dated back to 1989. You can’t buy much for $0.59 these days! 1989 feels like yesterday to me, but that means the switch was at least over 37 years old. I’m going to crack it open today to see what caused that sound. I’m curious…

Luckily, I have a stash of new switches from previous home repair projects. A quick visit to the main breaker panel, some minor rewiring work, and all's well!

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After living in old houses for so long, I’ve learned to keep some electrical and plumbing parts and supplies on hand, so I don’t have to run to the hardware store all the time (or when I can’t at midnight).

One thing that helped us semi-retire early (I was 50) is that we DIY most of our home and vehicle maintenance and repairs. It always saves you money, of course. But sometimes, being able to fix things yourself is all that stands between you and a dangerous or damaging situation.

Even if you have all the money in the world, it’s going to be hard to get a plumber or electrician to come to your house at midnight in a remote location, like where we live. We had a leak once that I discovered at 1 AM. If I hadn’t been able to shut off our water, the damage would have been tremendous by the time a plumber showed up the next day.

By the way, YouTube is your DIY friend! Check out this channel as one example. But you can also search for specific problems, like how to repair a leaking pipe, how to safely power off an electrical circuit, or how to shut off your gas line in an emergency.

For example, we’ve saved thousands of dollars on the maintenance, repairs, and cleaning of our pellet stove alone. Every year, I clean the ash out of the chimney pipe, and it’s amazing how much accumulates in just one season! I’ve experimented and learned a few tricks for managing the mess (e.g., catching the ash in a clear bag).

A few tips that have helped me make disassembly, repair, and reassembly work easier. I learned the hard way!

• Keep your appliance manuals (e.g., furnace, washing machine, dishwasher, stove) and file them somewhere you can easily find them later.

• Keep a list of your appliances, brand names, model numbers, and information about the parts. I have a list on my phone, so I know what to get when something needs replacing (e.g., windshield wiper model numbers, unique lightbulbs, fuses, etc.).

• Take photos and videos of the process, step by step. It sure is easier to put things back together later when you have the information stored for what it should look like.

• Use your phone to capture photos and videos of stuff that you can’t easily see with your eyes directly (e.g., the back panel of a stove, underneath your vehicle, behind a water heater).

• Use a piece of paper or cardboard to store the parts, screws, bolts, washers, wires, etc. as you take things apart (e.g., tape them down). You can even label things if that helps.

• Write notes to your future self about any tricky aspects of cleaning, maintenance, and repair. It’s easy to forget things when you rarely deal with them.

Yes, there are times you should call an expert. In my case, I don’t like dealing with complicated electrical and plumbing work. It can be dangerous, and I’m not a pro. So, even I call a licensed repair service occasionally.

However, we all know of simple projects that we could do ourselves. And again, YouTube is a magical resource for learning how to do things. It will save you money, but it may also simply be necessary because time is of the essence (e.g., turning off the gas when there’s a leak) and no one is available, no matter how big of a check you can write.

What DIY lessons have you learned?

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Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

Then, computers and printers came along, and I could create lists and print them out. Sweet! Better, but still not the best.

Now, I create reusable packing lists on my iPhone using the free Reminders app. I have my lists on iCloud so I can also access them from my laptop and iPad.

I make sure to toggle on “Show Completed” so items don’t disappear from the list (they move to the bottom instead). And you can choose how the list is sorted. Heck, you could even print the list if you miss good ol’ paper!

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The app isn’t perfect, though. I can’t duplicate and edit to create another list. So, I have to create an entirely new list for other travel purposes.

That’s the nice thing about digital lists, though. I can create lists for international trips, local weekend getaways, and longer trips that include outdoor recreation (like Alaska).

What's your favorite free app for creating packing lists?

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Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

Their friends are always surprised to hear how long our visits are, for example. Their parents may come to visit for a week every few years. We tend to visit for 3-6 weeks twice a year. They also come home to visit us, usually for holidays.

Their parents either stay at home or do the usual tourist stuff around town. We go on 15-mile mountain ridge hikes with our kids and backpacking trips to remote cabins. Again, our children’s friends are surprised that we are capable of that.

But none of this happened by accident.

We didn’t get “lucky.” All of it has been an intentional strategy and plan for the past 20+ years.

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I intentionally designed a solopreneur business that maximized my freedom after leaving my last corporate job, so we can travel and work from anywhere and not be locked down to specific geographies or time zones. It has taken decades of preparation to make this possible.

We intentionally invested in our health and fitness so we could live better lives and keep up with our kids on adventures. I’m 60 years old now and do hikes that I know I couldn’t have handled at 40. I have been working out 1-2 hours/day almost every day for over 17 years to make this possible.

However, it’s never too late.

Decide what kind of life you want for your future self and fight hard to make it happen. Make a plan and invest in the habits and actions that will make it come true.

It will require sacrifices and tradeoffs, but living a better life and being closer to your loved ones is worth it!

What can you do now to ensure the last half of your life is even more amazing? You can schedule a free call with me to brainstorm some ideas!

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Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

I took the photo below of his yacht in Juneau, Alaska as I sat on our deck enjoying good food and drink with friends and family. It has been here for several weeks, but no one knows for sure if he is even present because—like most billionaires—he must hide from commoners like us.

People like Zuck can’t enjoy a normal life anymore.

• They travel with bodyguards.

• They fear kidnapping attempts.

• They set up decoy vehicles.

• They are almost universally despised (except for the few billionaire worshippers who love them for some unfathomable reason).

It’s sadly amusing that some people crave his lifestyle. They wish they could become billionaires living on yachts, too. But why? Why would you want a life of less freedom, surprisingly trapped by your wealth?

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Later, we grabbed burgers and drinks in a dive bar across the harbor. His yacht was still in view, so we mentioned how he could never do what we were doing. Zuckerberg could never be a normal human being again (was he ever?), grab a burger and beer, and dance to live music in a bar like that (for so many reasons). He could never walk down the street to enjoy a taco from the local taco truck. He could never go on a beautiful mountain hike with his loved ones (like we did a few days ago) and see the views we enjoyed (photos below).

What is true wealth?

• Love, health, and happiness.

• The deep satisfaction gained from working hard to succeed.

• Reaping the rewards from an investment of your time and energy.

• Enjoying your freedom and ability to explore and experience the wonders of this world.

The views on our hike that we earned from an extremely hard 12-hour hike wouldn’t be as enjoyable from a private helicopter flown by a servant. And you certainly couldn’t soak your sore feet in a cold mountain lake while playing with your daughter's dog or enjoy the snacks and cold beverages you carried in a pack on your own back.

The delicious king crab legs we enjoyed the other night wouldn’t taste as delicious if they had been brought to us by someone else or cooked by our hired chef. We earned that fresh crab that we caught and cooked within a few hours.

Our blood, sweat, and tears of building the traps, taking them out into the open ocean in a small boat, dropping them into the water, and straining to retrieve those heavily-loaded traps the next day. I have never tasted such deliciously-fresh crab in my life! While others would have paid almost $900 to enjoy that meal (locally priced at $120 per leg!), we bought ours with time and effort. I've been on both sides of this kind of experience, so I know what tastes sweeter in the end.

Unfortunately, I know my words on this topic often fall on deaf ears. So many people desire extreme wealth. So many think they will somehow be magically different and can enjoy those billions without living in seclusion, surrounded by bodyguards and servants, and hated by the rest of humanity.

Okay, good luck with that! But, be careful what you wish for.

You’d be surprised by how little it takes to live an amazing, adventurous, and memorable life surrounded by loved ones, having wonderful adventures, and enjoying everything to its fullest. That is true wealth!

➡️ Want to design your path to an life? Book a free call with me!

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Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

My family was very close when we were young. We spent a lot of time together. I remember weekends and summers filled with swimming at the lake and nearby river, hiking old country paths, camping in the Rockies, sledding in the winter, etc.

We did everything together!

So, it made me sad to realize how far apart we had drifted over the years as we grew older. I live in California, two of my siblings are in Colorado, and the rest of the family is still in Nebraska. So, we can’t just pop over for dinner or make a quick drive for a weekend visit!

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A few years ago, I decided to reconnect with them more often. We would try to visit more often, but we also wanted to stay in touch every day. So, we started using the following to maintain our relationships…

• We have a sibling group chat. I would love to get everyone on Discord, but we’re just using SMS for now.

• We share little updates, photos, and memes with each other daily.

• We’ve started scheduling an annual reunion to hike, enjoy good food and drink, and have fun! The photo below is from our hike this past weekend near Lake Tahoe.

• We also see each other at different times throughout the year.

It’s not easy! We live pretty far apart and have our usual life and work commitments. But we’ve decided that it’s really important. We’re not kids anymore! So, who knows how many years we have left to enjoy each other’s company?

What do you do to stay in touch with your siblings? Reply to this email or leave a comment to share with us. I’m always looking for new ideas!

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Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

Most modern websites and apps provide features to enable better security for your accounts. But many people don’t use them for a variety of reasons:

• They don’t even know these security f…

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Nicole and I sat down with Dr. Amber Hull, a U.S. Board Certified physician currently licensed and practicing women’s health in British Columbia. We discussed the critical intersection of physical health, hormonal changes, relationships, and career fulfillment in our “second half” of life.

We also explored how the traditional compartmentalization of the different facets of our lives is pretty artificial. Instead, we need a holistic approach where we prioritize our wellbeing to maximize our personal and professional lives, especially as we age.

Key Takeaways

*Summarized from our audio transcript by Proton’s Lumo AI

• Hormones Drive Cognitive Performance: Many midlife professionals mistake perimenopausal symptoms (brain fog, anxiety, fatigue) for burnout or depression. Addressing the root hormonal causes and prioritizing sleep is often more effective than simply prescribing antidepressants.

• “Pay Yourself First” with Time: Just as you save money, you must aggressively block off time on your calendar for exercise, rest, and recovery before scheduling work obligations. This isn’t selfishness! It’s a necessary investment to prevent burnout and ensure longevity.

• The Danger of Unregulated Trends: Be highly skeptical of “snake oil” solutions like unregulated peptides or blanket hormone prescriptions. Unlike past pendulum swings in medical advice, the current approach requires individualized risk assessments rather than one-size-fits-all protocols.

• Redefining Intimacy and Pleasure: For women (and their partners), libido often dips because of the sheer weight of caretaking, work, and life responsibilities. True intimacy requires shifting from a transactional mindset to one where a partner’s pleasure and sense of “being seen” are centered without expectation of some sort of reciprocity.

• The Power of Saying “No”: It’s amazing to reach a life stage where you stop trying to make everyone else happy all the time. Setting firm boundaries with employers, family, and others allows you to reclaim your agency and design a life that aligns with your values and needs.

• Self-Advocacy is Non-Negotiable: Medical education has not always covered midlife changes and health adequately, so patients must become experts about their own bodies and health. Ask tough questions about risks and benefits rather than blindly trusting authority figures.

• Exercise is the Great Equalizer: While pharmaceutical interventions carry risks and trade-offs, consistent physical activity (e.g., weightlifting, walking, hiking, yoga) remains the single most reliable, low-risk intervention for maintaining physical vitality and mental clarity.

⬆️ Scroll up and hit play to watch the video and listen to our full conversation.

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About Dr. Hull

Dr. Amber Hull is a U.S. Board Certified physician currently licensed and practicing women’s health in British Columbia. She is a Menopause Society Certified Practitioner (MSCP) and an active member of the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health and the International Society for Sexual Medicine.

She takes an evidence-based, integrative approach to women’s health; considering measurable goals within the context of improving quality of life. She has a deep understanding of the physical and emotional changes that happen throughout the lifespan; especially in the context of puberty, postpartum, and peri/menopause. In addition to full-time clinical practice in Vancouver, she writes about medicine, immigration, and sexual health on Substack at Under the White Coat.

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

Dr. Hull is a U.S. Board Certified physician currently licensed and practicing women’s health in British Columbia. She is a Menopause Society Certified Practitioner (MSCP) and an active member of the International Society for the Study of Women’s Sexual Health …

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Parenting has changed over the past decades. People are spending more time with their children than past generations did. As a Gen X dad, I know I spent more time with my kids than most of the Boomer fathers I knew when I was growing up. I was pretty lucky, though. My dad actually did spend a lot of time with us. When he wasn’t working, we did stuff as a family (e.g., shopping, drive-in movies, hunting and fishing, swimming at the lake and river, going on long walks in the country, sledding, camping, and other vacations).

Still, it took me a few years of marriage to warm up to the idea of being a father. I was very focused on my graduate school education and my career in Silicon Valley. I wanted to get things off to a solid start and make enough money to feel comfortable supporting a family.

🎧 NOTE: I go into more detail in the audio of this podcast episode. So, scroll up and hit play if you want to listen. ⬆️

But guess what? You never feel you have enough money or that your career is cruising on autopilot. I remember when my mother-in-law talked with us about having children, and we explained why we were waiting (e.g., money, feeling ready to be parents).

She was right. That’s true about many things in life.

I talk about that when coaching people to plan a self-employed business model that will help them escape their 9-to-5 job and semi-retire early. No one ever feels 100% ready to quit their job and run a business. No one ever feels as though they have saved enough money and invested enough to retire safely. You just don’t! Unless you got really lucky and made the kind of money that you know you’ll be okay. But even multimillionaires and billionaires don’t like the idea of retirement. I have thoughts about why that happens, but that’s a conversation for another time…

At some point, if you know you want to become a parent, it’s a leap of faith. Sure, don’t rush it like an unprepared fool. But you also can’t keep putting it off until it’s too late and physically impossible.

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So, yes, we became parents, and it worked out. It was scary at first. My wife is such a natural mother. I’m not exaggerating when I say she is the best mom in the world. If you don’t believe me, ask our children. They adore her. Everyone does. So, I think she flowed right into caring for our newborn and giving her exactly what she needed. Loving that tiny person more than anything else in the world helps.

But I still felt like I had to learn how to be a father. The love part was easy. My heart had felt nothing like that before. You can’t really explain it to someone who isn’t a parent (and I know not all parents feel it). I had never felt love like that before. The kind of love that means you would do anything for your child, protect your child at all costs, and die for a child in an instant.

• No questions.

• No second guessing.

• No hesitation.

• You just know it.

A funny thing happens when you have known someone and loved them from birth. They exist in your heart and mind as a continuum from baby to adult. The visual in my mind is something like the one below from the television series Avatar: The Last Airbender. We watched this show with our children for years (they loved it).

When I think about my children, I visualize the flow of their existence from newborn to adult. It all exists simultaneously with a blend of memories from their entire lives. I have loved them and interacted with them in ever-evolving ways. For me, it is sometimes hard to let go of the babies and young children I remember. I think part of it is because I had to work so much, so I wasn’t as present in their lives as I wished I could be. It saddens me, so perhaps I cling to those memories.

So, as a Gen X father, my career was supposedly my primary quest, and being a dad was a side quest. It’s kind of messed up, and I’m glad to see younger generations challenge that notion. Sure, we need to make a living. But raising good, amazing people who can help bring more good into this world is more important than any corporate mission statement or career goal.

Eventually, I figured that out and walked away from my corporate career in 2010. I wanted to be a better father and husband. I wanted to take better care of myself and my health so that I could see my children grow up, start their own families, and bring their own children into this world. I wanted to experience being a grandfather! The path I was on risked all of that.

When I look back on my life’s accomplishments, nothing compares to being a dad. I am a father and husband first; a coach second.

I enjoy running my business and helping people, but my family comes first now. My children are the best thing that has ever happened to me. They are the most amazing people I know. I know every parent says that, but I wish you could meet them. They are so smart, adventurous, courageous, compassionate, caring, funny, and wonderful people to spend time with. We are so lucky that they still enjoy being with us. They come home to visit, we travel to see them, and we still do things together (e.g., hiking, backpacking, camping, travel, vacations, etc.).

That’s why I intentionally designed a flexible, asynchronous, location-independent business that lets me own my time and travel where I want, when I want. Now, we visit our children and spend several weeks with them. Being able to do this did not happen by accident. No job would ever have enabled it. It hasn’t been easy to make it happen, but it has been worth it.

So, the side quest became my primary quest. That happens sometimes.

In this case, it happened because it should have happened. I think that many of the issues in this world come from poor parenting. I hear stories of bad parents, toxic parents, unloving parents, absentee parents, etc. The list goes on and on. Some people rise above terrible experiences and swear that they will never do that to their children. They became great parents despite the negative parenting they had experienced. However, some people are damaged by their upbringing, so they take it out on the rest of us and the rest of the world. Sadly, I see that all the time.

My message is this: If you’re going to be a parent, be a great one. Make it your priority. I don’t mean the lip service I hear all the time. I mean, really prioritizing your children over other things. Really.

I’m gonna brain dump some thoughts on parenting. I’m not saying we were perfect, or that we got it right the first time. But you know what? We wanted to get better at parenting. We invested in it, learned from our mistakes, and kept trying to improve. We still are working on things as we’re becoming parents of adult children!

• Quality time matters, but so does quantity.

• Love them deeply and fully.

• Accept them and support them completely.

• Expose them to a variety of foods early and often.

• Read to them every day until they fall in love with reading.

• Travel with them so they experience the world and other cultures.

• Protect them and defend them (this world can really suck).

• Be a role model for good behavior, decency, emotional regulation, self-care, etc.

• Explore the outdoors with them, and put them on the path to exercise and health.

• Help them grow and let them face challenges appropriately.

• Don’t give in to the temptation to give them everything under the sun.

• Limit their access to screens, online bullshit, and the associated risks.

• Don’t make their life so easy that they face no failures.

• Respect them, talk with them, and actually listen to them.

• Take ownership of staying connected with your adult children.

• Ask and learn about their lives, relationships, careers, and more.

• Make the effort to communicate, travel to them, and visit them.

I’m sure some of this advice and my opinions will resonate with some of you. But I also know that some of you will disagree with some of it, feel irritated, or even pissed off. Such is the nature of being a human being and sharing opinions online!

If you don’t like it, write your own article about children and parenting. It’s free to do so! And it’s a great way to express yourself and get things off your chest. Hey, that’s why I do it.

🎧 I expand on much of what is written here in the audio of this podcast episode, so scroll up and hit play to listen. ⬆️ Or ignore me. That’s cool, too.

Schedule Your Free Call with Me

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!

I’m forcing myself to relax and sketch more quickly. Trying to capture essence and emotion. Letting the pencil flow without my usual insistence on precision.

And yes, it felt meditative. I hope you’re playing around with m…

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I got pretty chunky after turning 40. ☹️

I had been a skinny child and teen, so my brain didn’t catch up to realize how overweight I had slowly been becoming with my corporate desk job. It can sneak up on you!

But I finally got serious about exercise in my mid-40s. A combination of CrossFit, weightlifting, running, and eating healthier helped me drop 40…

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As you may already know (and might be tired of hearing about), I’m a coffee nut. My quest to perfect how I brew coffee started in my early 20s and has continued to evolve for the past 35+ years.

I started where most Nebraskans did in that time period before good coffee was a thing in …

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“Why do I feel guilty about exploring and learning too many new things?”

I’ve recently entered an interesting phase of life.

• I’m acutely aware of my mortality—for many reasons.

• I left my primary career behind way back in 2010, after decades of investing in that path and achieving some success (not everything I wanted, but enough).

• I slid into self-employ…

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He was a strong blue-collar dude, but …

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You guessed it. They bought the child an even more expensive new car.

I understand the desire to give your children a better life than you had, especially if you grew up poor, suffered, or endured trauma. But there is a difference between giving your child a good life and an easy life.

Giving someone an easy life doesn’t do them any favors in the long run. Infantilization doesn’t help someone learn, grow, and be ready for the realities of life.

• We need to work hard.

• We need to learn value.

• We need some struggles.

• We need to understand consequences.

• We need to learn about accountability, respect, and compassion.

I’m always surprised when I discover that friends completely cover everything for their children, never tell them no, give them whatever they want, and never expect that they contribute in any way. I have friends whose children have never had jobs, never paid for anything, and never helped out around the house with chores.

Even after these children became adults, they still lived in the home rent-free, never paid for groceries, never helped cook meals, drove cars provided by the parents, and went on fancy vacations around the world covered by the parents.

I guess we’ll see later, but I suspect these kids are going to have a rough time adjusting to real life once they graduate from college, move out, and have to get the first real jobs of their lives.

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We raised our children differently

When our kids were younger, living at home, and going to school, I was making pretty good money in my tech career. We could have given them anything and everything they wanted, but we did not.

Yes, we provide a home, food, clothing, and covered most of the things they required for their education and life. But they all had part-time jobs during high school. If they wanted to buy stuff and have fun adventures, they covered it with their income (e.g., video games, toys, movies with friends, etc.).

My wife and I both grew up without money. We had to work hard during college to pay rent, cover bills, and afford food (never enough food!). That struggle made us value things a lot more. It also forced us to be adults (imagine that), create budgets, be responsible, and learn about delayed gratification. If we wanted something special, we had to put in more hours, save up, and find a way to make it happen. We couldn’t just ask Mommy and Daddy for it.

We had watched what happened when friends were given whatever they wanted and never learned about responsibilities and accountability. Hell, we still know some of these people (in our 50s now), and they are still screwing up their lives. They never really grew up, and it shows.

So, we didn’t want that to happen to our children. They had chores, jobs, and contributions to make to the household. Sure, there were times they needed some additional financial help. It’s getting harder and harder to get by in this country as a young person (hell, it’s hard for all of us!). But we never just gave them money. Instead, we gave them interest-free loans, and guess what? They have all paid us back every time.

All of my children have traveled internationally.

• My daughter traveled to France and Iceland.

• My oldest son went to Ghana and is now in Australia.

• My youngest son traveled to Germany, France, Italy, and Japan.

Every single one of them paid for their own trips.

They worked hard, made tough decisions, saved up, and covered it themselves. And because of that, they valued those trips and memories way more than if we had forked over the money for their travels.

Sorry, I tend to brag about my kids. I just think they are amazing young people, and I’m so happy with how they turned out. My wife deserves the credit for that! She’s an amazing mother.

It is tempting

As I mentioned earlier, it is so tempting to give your children everything you didn’t have. I grew up poor, and I watched other kids get stuff I could only dream about. So, when I was finally making good money, it was so tempting to buy everything and cover everything for my children. I didn’t want them to go without, struggle, and feel bad.

But giving into that temptation would have kept them from growing into their full potential as resourceful, hardworking, and responsible young adults.

You don’t have to look far to see what happens when wealthy families spoil their children. I don’t even think it requires wealth, per se. Some people go into crazy debt to give their kids everything.

However, it never seems to turn out well…

I go into more detail in this podcast episode. So, scroll up, hit play, and check it out!

Larry Cornett, Ph.D. | Empowerment coach, psychologist, nature lover, and fitness freak. I help you escape the “hustle trap” to create an empowered life that fits who you are and what you want most. From Silicon Valley exec to self-employed entrepreneur, I’ve also followed this path to freedom, so now I can help others find their way.

➡️ Want to design your path? Book a free call with me!

📕 Check out my Invincible Daily Journals!